After experiencing narcissistic abuse, there will be times when you feel like a ‘zombie.’ You’ll be emotionally drained, fatigued, and lack excitement even in enjoyable activities. Even if you meet a nice person who treats you well and takes you on a date, you may not feel like you’re enjoying it. You might not even be thinking about your abusive ex anymore, but things don’t seem as fun as they were before. So, why do you feel like a person who is alive but dead on the inside after abuse?

The main reason why you feel like a zombie is that you’ve lost touch with your emotions. During the relationship, you suppressed many of these emotions to protect yourself from that emotionally-draining environment. Unable to bear the pain any longer, your mind blocked these painful emotions to keep you safe. Now, living in this state of suppressed emotions, you identify as someone who doesn’t feel, someone who feels dead on the inside, someone who’s emotionally blunt, or someone who’s emotionless. That’s why you say you feel like a zombie; things are happening in front of you, but every enjoyable or even simple aspect of life feels like such a drag.

That’s why when you leave the relationship, it doesn’t always signify the beginning of a life of excitement, as the mind cannot simply let go of that false identity you adopted to keep yourself safe from those relationships or that environment. It’s the same identity that will make you shy away from safe instances or from being vulnerable in your new way of life.

You might have physically left the abusive relationship, but on the inside, you’re still in it; the imprint of that relationship is still there. Their words, their emotional abuse, will still be lingering in your psyche, and most instances of your real life will remind you of the past, keeping the mind on high alert for any imminent danger. The best way the mind deals with this danger, even if you’re genuinely safe now and away from the relationship, is to suppress or numb those emotions. You might be physically safe, but to your mind, that’s not safety. The only way to be safe is to be emotionally blunt, as that’s what worked in the past.

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To break free from this state, it’s not about avoiding joyful things in life or seeking ways to keep your ‘zombie’ state alive, such as pursuing thrilling adventures or travelling the world. While these exciting adventures may make you feel ‘alive’ momentarily due to the adrenaline rush, after some time, they may not be enough. You might find yourself chasing the next best thing, the next best retreat, the next travel destination, or the next ecstatic experience, but it won’t truly fill the emptiness deep inside.

Chasing exciting things can make you feel alive for a few seconds because they are new and exciting. However, after some time, your numb state may grow bored with them. When you’ve numbed your emotions, it’s like an abyss that will never be satisfied or reach contentment with life as it is. It will always be on the lookout for something new and exciting. You will never really see the thrill of doing the mundane aspects of real life, like brushing your teeth or taking a shower or talking to that caring friend.

The only way to break free is to start with a pause and work on freeing yourself from that false identity. It involves going inward and releasing those trapped emotions and sensations that are keeping that fixed identity in place. It’s like signaling to the mind that you now have the capacity to manage and regulate your emotions, and you want to feel joy and sadness without being overpowered.

When you release those trapped emotions, you bring playfulness or that childlike state back into your life — the state where you find joy and excitement even in simple activities like brushing your teeth. It’s not about seeking the next big exciting venture but viewing life as a journey of contentment, not a place to chase endless pursuits that you believe will make you whole but may leave you feeling more and more empty.

Stop running and break down those walls; you’re more than a zombie.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.