When you’ve left an abusive relationship, one thing you expect is to receive support from those close to you, whether they are your friends, family, or even colleagues. While they may indeed be offering you support, they might still be in contact with your abusive ex for a few reasons. These reasons could include shared interests or because, from their perspective, they didn’t experience the abuse you endured. Moreover, your ex may have had a significant impact on some of your family’s projects. So, what do you do when your family continues to keep in touch with your abusive ex?

Set Boundaries with Your Family

When your family remains supportive of you and isn’t contributing to the abusive situation, the first step is to establish clear boundaries regarding their interactions with your ex-partner. While practicing no contact, communicate to your family that if they engage with your ex, they should refrain from involving you in those conversations or informing you of what was said. Essentially, ask them to keep it to themselves. By expressing this message, you’re outlining your needs and boundaries. If your family is understanding, they will respect and adhere to these boundaries, providing you with the space and support you require during this challenging time.

Limit communication

Another approach you can take is to limit communication with any family member who consistently brings up the topic of your ex-partner. This can prevent reopening wounds or stirring up negative emotions you may still harbor towards your ex. Limiting contact with such individuals can be particularly beneficial as you strive to move forward with your life.

However, in cases where family members persist in disregarding your boundaries and continue to discuss the matter despite your expressed wishes, it’s acceptable to prioritize your peace of mind and well-being by cutting off communication with them. Protecting your own peace is vital in the process of healing and moving on from your abusive ex.

Lower Your Expectations

One final aspect to consider is managing your expectations concerning your family. While they may offer support, it’s important not to set overly high expectations for them or expect them to fulfill your every need or desire especially when it comes to your dealings with your abusive ex. Doing so sets you up for potential disappointment if they don’t meet these unrealistic expectations. Instead, acknowledge and appreciate the support they provide while understanding that they may not always act or respond in the exact way you hope for. By keeping your expectations realistic, you can avoid unnecessary frustration and maintain.

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Conclusion

While it’s valuable to receive support from your family during your healing process, it’s crucial not to rely solely on their support as the primary aspect of your recovery. Instead, focus on going inward and addressing the deeper issues within yourself that may have contributed to staying in the abusive relationship or being drawn to someone who didn’t appreciate you.

Avoid fixating on what your family is doing regarding your ex, as this can divert your attention from confronting the anger and resentment simmering within you. Remember that you deserve better, and sometimes, rather than trying to convince your family to see things your way, it’s more beneficial to focus on the inner work of confronting your deep-seated insecurities and healing from past wounds.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.