When you’re about to end an emotionally draining relationship, you will at times feel it is unfair, especially if it was a committed relationship. Feeling unfair here means feeling like you’re not doing the right thing, or you made a vow to stick together till death do you part. Your partner may also tell you that you’re being unfair, and even your family or friends may echo those sentiments, telling you to give them more time or that people give each other second chances.

When you’re constantly bombarded with your own inner unfairness and even those around you claiming you’re unfair, you may find yourself crawling back to the relationship or even apologizing for your unfairness. After all, the default setting will not want you to step away from where you’re used to, which is being unfair to your true self.

So, you really think you’re unfair not simply because of the vows or the advice but rather because you’ve been unfair to yourself, and that is the belief you hold dear.

By sticking to a relationship with someone who’s been unfair to you and by listening to those who want you to stick to it, mostly your and their parents, you’re simply being unfair to yourself.

So, when you’ve gotten used to treating yourself unfairly by disregarding your inner cries for peace and serenity, you will see the feeling of being unfair for leaving a relationship as truth and not really illogical. That’s how beliefs make you think; they make you feel that you’re wrong for doing something contrary to those ingrained beliefs, and they will gather evidence from around the globe just to prove to you that your actions of leaving that abusive relationship are not stemming from fairness but from unfairness.

It will collect or scan around for reasons like “you’re being unfair to the kids who need a two-parent household,” and it will not really allow you to question that some of us were raised in two-parent households and look at how we turned out — we’re even at war with ourselves.

It will not look at the unfairness you’ve subjected yourself to by looking the other way when it comes to taking care of yourself but sticking around when it comes to taking care of the one who is unfair to you.

To start challenging that aspect, you first have to understand that our nature is to stick to what we’ve become used to, and the nature of those around you is to stick to that same thing.

So, you will be questioned for doing the right thing for yourself and rarely be supported for it. By recognizing this, you will see the absurdity of our inner belief system. It presents scenarios and aspects that don’t make sense at all just to keep you stuck where you are.

So, don’t listen to that voice of unfairness. The only unfairness is you not sticking to your boundaries or being fair to others without including yourself in the picture. It’s better to be ‘unfair’ to others and be fair to yourself because at the end of the day, you’re responsible for yourself.

Actually, in the grand scheme of things, you become fair to others by being fair to yourself or by taking full responsibility for yourself. Others who have the eyes to see may also follow suit, and that’s a more lasting change than the mask of being ‘fair’ while deep inside you’re hurting and holding onto a lot of anger and resentment towards yourself for your perceived unfairness.

Being fair is an aspect of your authenticity, and the more authentic you are, the fairer you become because it comes from your own truth, away from negative beliefs or the voices of people who have been unfair to you in the past. That’s why, as you work on yourself, you will start seeing things from a totally different angle and perspective and gain a deeper understanding of aspects like fairness or justice.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.