You may have felt that horrible sense of dread that comes when narcissist wages open war with you. Maybe it’s at the family dinner when they “jokingly” talk about your most humiliating moments. Or at work, talking about how awful and lazy you are in front of your colleagues.

Perhaps it’s at a party, where they are flirting with others right in front of you so that everybody, including you, will notice it. Or when you’re ‘coparenting’ together, and you have to attend school meetings then they yell at you as if you’re a small child. These moments leave you feeling small, embarrassed, exposed, and utterly helpless.

Why do they do this? 

It’s not random, that’s for sure. Narcissists humiliate others in public as part of their twisted power play. They’re saying, “Look how easily I can crush them, how they’re below me.” When they put you down in public, it makes them feel superior and even helps maintain their reputation. When you’re embarrassed, it may also make you more susceptible to their manipulation, as you fear the consequences of being humiliated in public.

When you’re humiliated, it leaves you not only feeling embarrassed but also chips away at your self-esteem. You may even start shying away from most social functions, especially if you haven’t made peace with the memories of past humiliations.

Do Not Play Their Games

So, what do you do when a narcissist has decided to make you their public punching bag? Here’s the golden rule: Do not play and do not engage. It’s difficult not to fight back or defend yourself, but that is precisely what they want.

They want that reaction from you so it can affirm to them that you’re still within their control, or so they can use that reaction later to paint you as the crazy one. Because of how persuasive and manipulative they are, people may believe their side more. You will end up being painted as the crazy and abusive one, while the abuser may just walk away as the victim whom you triggered.

The other thing is, when you play their games, you may do some unimaginable acts like breaking a few cups at a party or shouting at the schoolteacher out of frustration. When you’re angry and not getting any kind of justice, you may throw your hands up and do something you normally wouldn’t, only to regret it later as a way to channel those emotions. That’s why not engaging is the best way, especially when the narcissist still triggers you and knows which buttons to press when dealing with you.

Do Not Internalize Their Actions

Also, you need to always remind yourself that their actions are not a portrayal of who you are as a person but more of who they are. It is more of a reflection of their insecurities, and your reactions are more of a reflection of your insecurities. If we could just see what people do as on them and what we do as on us, then it would save us a lot of burden and unnecessary emotional damage.

You’re only responsible for how you respond to those situations, but as sometimes you cannot help it when you’re cornered by the narcissist, go easy on yourself when you act undesirably and understand that they really pushed you to the limit. So, always remember this: “This is about their issues, not mine.”

In conclusion, it’s not easy to deal with humiliation from someone who’s out to prove a point or tarnish your name, but by not engaging, you neutralize the threat of having a dramatic moment in public with someone you can’t reason with logically. Additionally, by seeing their stunts as their problem, you preserve your peace and your space.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.