Let’s say you left the relationship three months ago, then they fall sick and you want to go and help them. They might request that you go and help them, or you might just want to go and help them. This is a very tempting question because when someone is sick, there is always that feeling that because someone is sick, I’ve got to do something because I’m a good human being. So, you might really be tempted to go back to the relationship and help them out. It’s a natural human instinct to want to help but is it the best thing to do when you’re dealing with someone who is manipulative?

They May Be Lying About it.

The first scenario is they may lie about being sick. You know they put on this mask and can use any alibi to manipulate you or reel you back into the relationship. Sometimes, they even fabricate tragic events like a death or feign illness because they understand it triggers your compassion and empathy. They know that by telling you they are sick, you might be compelled to go back and take care of them.

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Let’s say you’ve been practicing no contact and focusing on your healing journey, but this situation normally catches you off guard. When you’re not careful, you may fall for that bait especially of their faking their illness so as to draw your attention. You do understand how they use various tactics in the relationship to keep you hooked, feigning illness may be one of them. That’s why you need to remain vigilant and not fall for their traps.

When They’re Actually Ill

The other instance is when they are genuinely sick and you’ve even heard from your mutual acquaintances that they are really ill and they need your help. If they are genuinely sick, it’s not your responsibility to help them. You might feel guilty or overly responsible for their behavior or health, but in reality, the primary responsibility for their well-being lies with them. If they are unwell, the appropriate place for them to seek help is a hospital. It’s not your role to care for them, even if they lack the means to do so themselves. Remember, you are also dealing with your own struggles and challenges.

Work on Your illness

You may genuinely feel compelled to take care of them, but it’s not solely due to your inherent desire to care for them. It’s often driven by your codependent tendencies. Over time, you’ve become accustomed to prioritizing others’ needs above your own, even at the expense of your well-being. When you’re codependent, the idea of martyrdom becomes ingrained in your psyche. This pattern of behavior is now an ‘illness’ that requires your attention and healing. Years of enduring abuse and being taken for granted by others have deeply affected you, to the point where prioritizing your own well-being feels foreign. It’s essential to recognize that your well-being matters and that you are responsible for it. By addressing this inner turmoil and prioritizing your own healing, you can begin to make decisions that serve your best interests without causing harm to yourself

It’s incredibly tempting to revert to familiar patterns and care for your sick, abusive ex-partner, especially when you’re still grappling with inner turmoil. However, the best course of action is to resist that urge and focus on your own healing journey. While this decision may seem harsh to others, including those close to you, it’s essential to recognize that you’ve already endured immense suffering at the hands of the narcissist. Prioritizing your well-being is not only necessary but also a crucial step toward breaking free from the cycle of abuse.

Rather than dwelling on the guilt or societal expectations, stay committed to distancing yourself and prioritizing self-care. In doing so, you’ll gradually come to realize that by taking care of yourself, you’re not only healing your own wounds but also contributing to a healthier, more balanced world. Your well-being matters, and it’s okay to prioritize yourself over the needs of your ex-partner, especially when doing so fosters your own growth and healing.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.