Today, I’ll be addressing a very interesting question: How do your parents set you up for unhealthy or toxic relationships? Of course, your parents or the people who raise you are often held in high regard. We’ve been conditioned to learn from them, and it’s inevitable because, during our early years, we primarily learn from the adults in our lives — parents, church leaders, teachers, and the like.

When we learn behaviors from them, these behaviors become ingrained as ‘truths’, forming beliefs that we live by. For example, if you were raised in an environment where you were taught or witnessed that love is about persevering, and relationships are about enduring, this belief becomes a truth for you. It shapes your perception of how life should be lived.

As you grow up, you might find yourself trying to impress others at the expense of your well-being, lowering your boundaries and neglecting self-care. This is because you see it as the norm — life is supposed to be lived this way. Your beliefs are like boxes that confine you, developed not by your choice but through environmental influences.

If you grew up believing that relationships are places of perseverance with no escape, or that you have to constantly give and impress others, you might end up in relationships where you are overly giving, caring for someone with mental issues, and neglecting your own needs. This is how they set you up — by shaping your beliefs. That’s how you may even end up preferring relationships where you’re being controlled because you perceive that as healthy and how relationships are supposed to be. After all, that’s what you’ve always seen from the ones you looked up to.

These beliefs are not inherently yours; you inherited them from your upbringing. Questioning these beliefs can lead to new perspectives and thinking outside the box. It’s essential to challenge your beliefs and realize that many of them are not truly yours but inherited from your environment. By questioning and challenging these beliefs, you can develop new perspectives and see beyond the limitations imposed by your upbringing.

It’s crucial not to blame your parents or upbringing entirely. Instead, acknowledge the beliefs you’ve inherited and take responsibility for changing them. Blaming perpetuates a cycle of blame, but taking responsibility empowers you to break free from these patterns.

If you’ve come across information or perspectives that challenge your beliefs, consider yourself lucky. It’s an opportunity to start your journey of questioning and changing these inherited beliefs. Understanding that the circumstances in your life are not solely because of your parents but are shaped by inherited beliefs is a step towards taking responsibility for your choices.

Once you break free from these inherited beliefs, you’ll realize you have choices in life. You can choose to challenge toxic patterns, attract healthy relationships, and live a life filled with freedom. Remember, your upbringing might shape you initially, but breaking free from those constraints opens up a world of choices.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.