Today, I’ll be addressing the question of whether doing what an abusive person wants can help them stop being abusive. It’s an interesting question, and let’s explore it.

Consider an example of an abusive household where, let’s say, your father is emotionally and verbally abusive, constantly calling you names and demanding that you do certain tasks. You might wonder if doing what they say will make them stop being abusive. The reality is, doing what they want does not lead to a reduction in their abusive behavior. In fact, it often exacerbates the situation.

Some subtle abusive behaviors tend to escalate when they are not confronted. The more someone engages in abusive conduct and faces no resistance, the more they are encouraged to continue. It’s similar to crossing boundaries — the more it happens without consequences, the more the behavior persists. This progression might begin with verbal abuse but can escalate to physical abuse if unchecked.

Allowing an abusive person to dictate your actions or control you doesn’t diminish their abusive tendencies; rather, it reinforces their behavior. They derive satisfaction from exerting control, and the more they can do so without opposition, the more they are likely to continue.

I’ve encountered situations where individuals tolerated verbal abuse, only for it to escalate into physical abuse. Once the abusive person gains full control, they may extend their influence to other aspects of your life, such as relationships with friends, family, or a partner.

No amount of accommodation or compliance with an abusive person’s demands will make them stop their manipulative behavior. They derive pleasure from such actions, and their tendency is to continue pushing boundaries. Instead, it’s crucial, especially in the early stages, to set clear boundaries and push back against abusive behavior.

Understanding and asserting your boundaries can be a deterrent, signaling to manipulative individuals that you are not someone to be easily exploited. While this may work in some cases, be cautious, as some manipulative individuals may persist or become even more harmful.

Always prioritize your safety and well-being over trying to impress or placate an abusive person. Doing what they want will not make them stop; it only makes things more challenging for you.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.