Today, I’ll be sharing about the toxic relationship you have with yourself after leaving a toxic relationship. You see, what we often overlook is that we tend to view the toxicity in a relationship as something external, involving another person. However, what persists even after leaving that harmful relationship is the toxic relationship we have with ourselves.

So, what does it mean to have a toxic relationship with yourself? It refers to engaging in behaviors that we know are harmful to us, despite wanting to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves. Deep down, we find ourselves indulging in actions that harm us physically, such as excessive drinking, smoking, jumping from one relationship to another, sleeping around, overeating, binge-watching, or engaging in other behaviors that deviate from our authentic selves. Internally, it can manifest as self-criticism, self-hatred, and constantly blaming ourselves for the past.

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It’s as if we are perpetuating the patterns that occurred in the toxic relationship. Just like how the abuser in the past would call us names and mistreat us, we now find ourselves doing the same, but this time to ourselves. It’s like we have adopted their negative perspective of reality, which has tainted our self-perception. When they called us those names and we lacked a strong foundation within ourselves, we absorbed those negativities. And when we internalize those negativities, they grow into negative beliefs, such as feeling unworthy of love or a healthy relationship.

The past relationships, including our interactions with caregivers and abusive partners, planted seeds of self-doubt and negativity within us. These seeds have now taken root, shaping our current lives. Without healing, our lives become a manifestation of these destructive seeds. We feel consumed by toxicity, trapped in victimhood, believing we don’t deserve anything positive, even basic things like boundaries, a healthy meal, or self-care. It becomes a battle of negative beliefs within us, deeply ingrained by the repeated abuse we endured.

Therefore, when we leave a toxic relationship, it’s crucial to address the toxic relationship we have within ourselves. Only then can we truly break free from its grip. This toxic relationship is solely internal; there is no one else responsible for it. For instance, we may self-sabotage during an interview or engage in unhealthy behaviors because our minds have become accustomed to toxicity. To overcome this, we must turn inward and confront these toxicities.

Leaving the toxic relationship isn’t enough; we must also sever the toxic relationship we have with ourselves. This carries more weight because it requires taking full responsibility for our healing journey. It means rising up, seeking help, and sacrificing our current distractions to focus on self-care and introspection. There is no other way around it. It’s not about jumping into another relationship or distracting ourselves with external activities. It’s about delving into the place where those seeds of destruction were planted, namely our subconscious mind, and uprooting them.

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Merely affirming that we are out of the toxic relationship won’t suffice. We need to dig deep and work on removing those deeply ingrained subconscious beliefs. These beliefs dictate our actions, behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. Merely addressing the surface-level issues won’t lead to lasting change; we must address the root causes. Without uprooting these seeds, we’ll continue to find ourselves trapped in negative thought patterns and self-loathing.

So, while the relationship we had in the past was toxic, the real work lies in healing ourselves to break free from the toxic relationship we have with ourselves.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.