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Signs Your Relationship Can’t Be Fixed
And they lived happily ever after, is often easier said than lived. We all wish for a relationship that feels like a Disney movie from the start until the end, but life catches up, and things begin to go up in smoke. We all hope for a relationship where we feel comfortable, respected, and pour into each other’s needs or even just a relationship that lights us up.
But at times, it does not go as planned, as the partner you thought was your light in the pitch-black night now turns out to be the one who turns off your light. The relationship is now overshadowed by much greater problems that threaten to ruin it entirely. We now spend days and nights ruminating on what we can do to get things back as they were in the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
The thoughts of pulling the plug are also in the air, but your desire to fix things and stay still overpowers it. The only two questions we have when it comes to this point are: “Can the relationship be fixed?” or “Is it irreparable?” In this article, I am going to share with you some vital signs that your relationship can no longer be fixed, and it may be time to consider disengaging for a better life and future.
- Your Relationship has Turned Toxic
The first sign is when the relationship has turned abusive or toxic. When you start spotting some red flags like manipulation, intimidation, physical abuse, name-calling, and those things that really make you feel unsafe, it’s time to disengage. No abusive behavior should be rationalized for the sake of keeping things together in a relationship.
Toxic is toxic, and it never gets better, it just gets worse if you stay. When you have that gut feeling that the relationship is not a safe space, especially when you’ve started noticing some patterns, consider walking away before things get out of hand.
2. No Mutual Effort to Fix Things
It takes two to tango. A relationship can only be fixed if both parties show the willingness to fix it and are accountable for their actions. Without that, it’s like forcing a donkey to drink water, which is not possible.
It is okay to put some effort and fight to save a relationship, but this is only possible if both parties are putting in the effort to fix things. It’s not easy to make it work, but if you’re both involved, there will always be hope that things will get better. But without that mutual willingness to save the relationship, walking away is the only option.
“You cannot fix what you will not face.” — James Baldwin
3. Frequent Uncontrollable Arguments and Fights
In any relationship, occasional fights and arguments are normal occurrences, as we cannot always agree on some elements. Fights and arguments do happen, but when it reaches a point where the relationship is turning out to be a battlefield where every conversation leads to a fight or an argument, the relationship is irreparable. A relationship can only be fixed when two people can have a mature and sober conversation.
4. You Always Find Ways to Avoid Your Partner
A relationship is where you spend quality time with your partner. A relationship is irreparable if you find that all the plans you make are all about avoidance of spending time with your partner.
You might find yourself choosing to spend more time with your friends or anyone other than them. You may be going out until late at night so that when you get home, you find them asleep, or you leave the house very early so that you can avoid seeing them or even talking to them.
They start becoming invisible to you, it’s like they do not even exist in your life at all. It’s okay to have personal plans and priorities, but if you find that you don’t want to spend time with your partner, the better option is to just leave the relationship.
5. You Don’t Think You Can Ever Trust Your Partner Again
Trust is foundational in any relationship as your partner is someone you confide in, someone you tell your secrets and confidential information, as well as someone you share most things with.
A relationship without trust is a sham, and it’s the ugly truth we rarely accept. You cannot stay under one roof when trust has been thrown out the window. Trust is earned, but if that trust has been constantly betrayed and you’ve reached a point where you feel that even if they do A-B-C-D, you can never trust them again, then it’s best to call off the relationship.
Trust can have highs and lows, but if you really do feel that nothing can be done to rebuild the trust you had before, it is enough proof that the relationship is not the best place for you to be in. Also, if your partner constantly betrays your trust, it shows that they don’t have your best interests at heart.
6. You’ve Tried Everything but Nothing Works
Every relationship goes through ebbs and flows of good times and some rifts. When you’ve experienced rifts in the relationship, you’ve always talked to your partner as you try to resolve those issues. You might have also broken up with them a couple of times, but then found your way back to the relationship after reconciliation.
You might have also talked to a therapist, a couple’s coach, or a religious leader, or even your best man/woman just to handle the rockiness in the relationship. If you’ve tried all this over and over again, but the rift between the two of you keeps going on, it’s time to consider and accept that the relationship may not work.
This is one of the hardest ones to accept, but it is good to know that you cannot fit a square ball in a circular box. In fact, the more you try, the more stressed, and the more damage you cause. What makes it even harder is the fact that things might change for a few weeks or months after reconciliation, but then the rifts begin again.
If you’ve authentically tried to make things work in the relationship, but you always find yourself solving the same issues every time, then probably disengaging from the relationship is the best option.
7. The Bond/Feelings You Had Are No More
A relationship is made of feelings of love, trust, intimacy, and safety. The intensity of these feelings will frequently fluctuate in any relationship, which is so normal. But when it reaches a point where you really lack any interest or concern and the bond you had with your partner is too far gone that you can’t even do a thing to reignite the spark, then it’s time to go separate ways.
If you feel that apathetic and unhappy without even a whiff of feelings, then it may mean you’re not right for each other and staying will just ruin your mental health.
All relationships have ups and downs, as each one of us has different perceptions in life. Some relationships tear us up, and some build us up to our ultimate potential. Here is the thing, if you find yourself in a sticky relationship situation, do not try and force things but instead prioritize your mental well-being.
It’s important to note that every relationship is unique and has different ways to resolve conflicts. The main deal-breaker for if a relationship can be fixed is abuse (verbal, physical, emotional, and mental), and when a relationship reaches that level of toxicity, find a way out for your safety. Some aspects of a relationship can be fixed, but they all require mutual effort and dedication to make things work.
Of course, it’s not easy to leave a relationship because of the feeling of investment we’ve made in the relationship and the convenience it offers, but at times, for the sake of your own happiness and peace, leaving might be the only option.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.
