After leaving an abusive relationship, it’s common to experience an immediate longing to return to the abuser because the pain and loneliness can feel overwhelming. The subconscious draw towards the familiar, despite the toxicity, can be incredibly strong, leading you to contemplate going back. Thoughts of the abuser may consume your mind, and a part of you may struggle to accept that the relationship is truly over and irreparable. As a result, you may attempt to distract yourself by staying busy with work, projects, or searching for a new ‘purpose’ in life. However, the question remains: will these distractions genuinely help?

Keeping Yourself Busy Work on the Short-Term

When you’ve left and are still trying to figure out your next steps, keeping yourself busy can offer temporary relief from obsessive thinking, as you become engrossed in the activities that keep you occupied. This diversion can actually help prevent you from going back to them when you’re deeply engaged in an activity or focused on something that keeps your mind occupied. At times, you may become so preoccupied that you don’t feel the emotional pain as intensely, and you eventually get so tired that you simply sleep. It’s as if busyness acts as a shield, allowing you to temporarily escape the distressing thoughts and feelings that might otherwise overwhelm you. However, it’s important to consider whether there are limits to staying busy?

When Busy Stops Working

While staying occupied can be an effective short-term strategy to distract yourself, it cannot be a sustainable, long-term solution. Your body and mind have their limits, and when pushed to the extreme, they can break down, leading to physical and mental exhaustion.

The exhaustion that can result from constant engagement in activities, tasks, or distractions is often mentally draining, as it requires a significant amount of focus, decision-making, and effort. This mental exhaustion can be compounded by the emotional burden you are trying to escape, as your mind remains preoccupied with those unresolved feelings even when you’re busy. Additionally, physical exhaustion can set in when you don’t give your body adequate rest and recovery time. Over time, this can lead to fatigue, sleep disturbances, and potentially even physical health issues.

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Busyness can serve as a coping mechanism when you’re trying to find your footing, but it’s not a sustainable long-term solution, as it essentially involves avoiding the important issues that need to be processed. By staying constantly occupied, you continue to disregard the emotional pain and underlying issues that require your attention. The more you ignore these, the more you inadvertently cause yourself additional distress. Being in an abusive relationship can leave lasting emotional scars that can’t be superficially patched up but require a thorough exploration of their roots and a process of healing those root causes.

In conclusion, keeping busy can provide some initial relief, but it should not be relied upon as a long-term strategy. The sustainable approach should always involve addressing and working on your unhealed emotional wounds and the deeper issues that lie beneath the surface. Long-term healing and growth often require a more comprehensive and introspective approach, rather than a constant distraction from underlying pain and unresolved issues.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.