Is It Toxic When My Partner Makes Rules About the Relationship?

Is It Toxic When My Partner Makes Rules About the Relationship? is it toxic when my partner makes rules about the relationship?
Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question: Is it toxic when your partner makes rules about the relationship? Some of the rules I’ve encountered include not talking to friends, not calling friends without informing them, not dressing in some kind of way, and various restrictions. You might initially think that these rules are meant to help the relationship grow, as every relationship needs some form of guidelines or principles to help the relationship grow. However, let’s delve into whether these rules are genuinely toxic or acceptable.

Rules, by definition, restrict or dictate what you can or cannot do. In a relationship, it’s reasonable to establish certain expectations or agreements collaboratively. For instance, discussing the time spent on social media or setting boundaries can be healthy. The problem arises when these rules are imposed unilaterally without room for discussion or input from both partners.

In a controlling relationship, one party takes control of setting rules without allowing the other to have a say. This is a dangerous sign because it implies manipulation and control. Everyone in a relationship has the right to express their opinions and voice, irrespective of gender. When rules are set without any opportunity for engagement or discussion, it indicates a red flag.

Controlling individuals often harbor deep insecurities, leading them to establish rules to create a false sense of security. These rules may stem from a fear of abandonment or a fear of being left alone. However, this type of security is illusory and doesn’t address the underlying issues.

Healthy relationships involve mutual understanding and communication. If ‘rules’ are discussed openly and collaboratively, they can be seen as boundaries that contribute to personal and mutual growth. However, when rules stifle freedom, limit expression, or create a power imbalance, it becomes toxic.

In such situations, you may start feeling voiceless and isolated, losing connections with friends and support networks. The toxicity can escalate, leading to financial abuse and a complete loss of autonomy. A healthy relationship is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, not strict rules enforced out of fear.

So, in conclusion, strict rules imposed without dialogue and understanding are not characteristics of a healthy relationship. They often originate from fear and insecurity, posing a threat to personal freedom and well-being.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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