Today, I will be addressing the question of whether it’s guaranteed that you will attract another toxic relationship when you haven’t healed from your last one. It’s quite common to contemplate entering a new relationship after being discarded and betrayed in the previous one. The loneliness and the yearning for a companion to alleviate the pain you’re experiencing might prompt you to question whether it’s inevitable to attract another narcissist when reentering the dating scene. So, what occurs when you attempt to find a new partner without healing?

Scenario 1: Finding a healthy Partner

Let’s first examine this scenario where you do not attract a narcissist but instead attract a normal partner. There’s no guarantee that you will attract a narcissist, as you may, at times, get lucky and land yourself someone who’s just leading a normal life. However, when that happens, there’s a likelihood of you subconsciously sabotaging it.

A normal relationship can be mostly boring with very little drama, and that does not bode well with you when you’re used to the highs and lows of a toxic relationship. When you’re accustomed to the excitement of a toxic relationship, you will find a normal, healthy relationship very unhealthy. They might not be cheating on you or even bothering you, and they may just be treating you with kindness. But because your mind has gotten used to the chaos of a toxic relationship, you will find ways to ruin it. You will not even believe that they care about you, even if they perform caring acts or treat you with kindness; you will be on high alert and waiting for them to slip up.

Instead of enjoying the healthy aspects of the relationship or the serenity offered by the relationship, you will instead be questioning if your new relationship is healthy or not. Because you got used to being used and manipulated in the previous relationship, you may get angered by their kindness. You don’t know what to do in a healthy relationship, and you might attempt or try so hard to be something else, but deep inside, you’re too unsure about yourself. You don’t know what people in healthy relationships do. You don’t like the autonomy you’re being offered, and paradoxically you want to be controlled or be told what to do.

https://biiedwin.gumroad.com/l/NavigatingtheStormofNarcissisticAbuse

The healthy relationship will be so uncomfortable and scary that you will find a way to sabotage it, after all, it is not healthy and exciting. So, when you find a healthy partner, there’s like a 99.9% chance of ruining it because it’s boring, triggering, and ‘unhealthy.’

Scenario 2: High Probability of Attracting Another Narcissist

Aside from potentially ruining a healthy relationship, there is a higher chance of attracting another narcissist or someone who can take you on a rollercoaster since that’s what you’re used to. When you’re used to something, your mind sees it as a safe and predictable space for you. You’re also desperate, and you will not be patient enough to understand the other partner, and you will end up making irrational decisions out of fear of losing them or letting them down.

When you pursue a new relationship without healing, your motivation is fear and not really listening to your authentic voice.

On the other hand, you will also make easy prey for those people who can validate what you’re going through or who can use your vulnerabilities to make you lower your boundaries. That’s why there’s a higher chance of attracting another narcissist even when you know all the red flags. You might be consciously aware, but unconsciously you’re accustomed to hurtful environments, and your mind does a great job in dragging you to familiar space. You will not sabotage an unhealthy relationship because it is in alignment with the toxic relationship you have deep inside.

In conclusion, unless you heal the toxic relationship you have with yourself deep inside, you will continue to suffer or attract harmful circumstances in your life. You will unconsciously disregard healthy aspects and welcome the exciting and harmful habits like unconscious drinking, vaping, emotional eating, and more. Unhealthy habits and the toxicity you have deep inside go hand in hand, and that’s why, instead of asking if you will attract a narcissist if you date unhealed or not, you should instead give your all to deal with the pain you’re currently feeling. All those other things are just distractions from what’s currently here. It’s tempting to look for that shoulder to cry on, but you’d rather resist the temptation and save yourself years of suffering and emotional distress.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.