It’s hard enough leaving a toxic relationship, but it’s even worse when your ex treated you unfairly and got away with it. Maybe they bullied you into a bad divorce settlement and took everything. Or they damaged your reputation by spreading lies about you. Perhaps they isolated you from family and friends.

It’s agonizing when the toxic person escapes without facing real consequences for their cruelty towards you. You probably spend a lot of time thinking about how unfair it is and wishing they got what they deserved. Feeling that hunger for justice and punishment is normal.

However, as tempting as it is to pursue getting even, obsessing over that sense of justice will only keep you stuck in the trauma and toxicity they inflicted. It anchors you to them and prevents you from truly healing.

The counterintuitive yet necessary path forward is to make the extremely difficult choice to let go of that hunger for justice. Not because they don’t deserve accountability, but because continually fixating on that will only drain your energy and personal power.

The key is radical self-reinvention — not waiting around for closure that may never come, but reclaiming your sovereignty by walking away on your own terms. It means letting go of obsessive thoughts about what they “stole” from you materially and realizing that they can never actually take away your resilient spirit and inner worth.

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Whatever money, possessions or dreams they sabotaged through manipulation can either become the end of your story stuck in victimhood, or the inspiring catalyst fuelling an even better comeback for yourself. Because their unjust actions emerged from their own inner emptiness and scarcity — not your sphere of unlimited possibility.

Grieve what they put you through for sure, but don’t let that become your permanent identity as a helpless victim yearning for justice that may never arrive. Let your pain transmute into wisdom by shifting your laser-focus to what is in your control going forward — doubling down on healing, rediscovery, and authoring an empowered, flourishing new chapter for yourself. Let them stay stuck in their negativity while you operate from a place of unstoppable growth. This journey will need you to do some deep inner work to build up your self-worth, self-acceptance, and dreams for an amazing future that goes beyond their selfish attempts to hold you back.

Logical Justice Gets Easier When You Understand Yourself

This also doesn’t mean that you stop and naively ignore any chance for justice to be served. No, it simply makes it easier for you to attain some sense of justice where possible when you’ve done inner work. When you’ve worked on understanding yourself on a deeper level, seeking justice becomes easier because you approach situations more logically, rather than being driven solely by tainted emotions.

You can assess situations objectively while considering all possible scenarios and make decisions based on reason, rather than being clouded by the anger or resentment you still have towards your ex. This means that you’ll be looking at the possibilities within your reach or within the law without letting it define who you are.

When you’re calm and composed, you will, of course, look for a better lawyer or be more patient with the process, and justice may be served. And even if it’s not served, you will be more accepting of the outcome, knowing there’s nothing more you can do.

You will be at peace with whatever outcome because you understand that the outer doesn’t have to affect the inner you, and even if you lose, there’s more to gain out there, and you can still rebuild and make it better.

In short, working on yourself is a win-win situation because you may get the actual justice you’re longing for, and at the same time, you’ve reached a state of justice within yourself, a justice which can never be taken away. So, you can pursue justice within the confines of the law, but it’s better to do so when you’re free from the pain they caused you, as that will give you better results.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.