The idea of seeking revenge or devastation upon a narcissist is a common yet deeply ingrained idea among survivors of narcissistic abuse. It’s one of those frequently asked questions in forums, which is quite understandable especially when you’re not healed. It’s natural to harbor feelings of anger and resentment towards someone who has caused you immense pain and suffering. The desire to destroy a narcissist is a natural response to the trauma they inflicted or the painful experiences they put you through. They may have subjected you to emotional manipulation, gaslighting, blameshifting, or even physical abuse. It’s understandable to want them to experience a taste of the suffering they’ve caused you. However, dwelling on thoughts of revenge can be a slippery slope, leading to decisions that only compound your pain.

An Eye for An Eye — Temporary Relief

Wishing for the narcissist to feel the suffering they inflicted upon you can briefly offer relief. It’s natural to seek justice, even if only momentarily, and the idea of “an eye for an eye” often resonates in such situations. It implies a sense of proportional retribution, making the narcissist endure what they’ve caused. It validates your pain and acknowledges the injustice you’ve endured. This desire for reciprocity can temporarily ease the wounds caused by the narcissist’s behavior, providing a sense of empowerment in a situation where you may have felt powerless. You may feel justice has been served and even offer you some sort of temporary closure. But is it the final solution?

Consequences of Your Reactions

When you haven’t healed or addressed the pain they’ve put you through, your reactions to the situation aren’t a reflection of your true self. Instead, they’re a manifestation of the pain and anger stirred within you by the narcissist’s actions. These emotions can cloud judgment and lead to actions that have lasting consequences.

When you’re acting from these tainted emotions, you may find yourself resorting to destructive behavior, such as destroying property belonging to the narcissist. However, such actions can have significant consequences beyond just the immediate moment of release.

Firstly, destroying property can land you in legal trouble. Vandalism or destruction of property are criminal offenses that can result in fines, legal fees, or even imprisonment, depending on the severity of the damage. This not only adds to your stress and financial burden but also diverts your focus away from healing and recovery.

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Furthermore, engaging in destructive behavior can actually undermine your ability to “win” against the narcissist in the long term. Instead of empowering you, it can reinforce the narcissist’s narrative that you are unstable or volatile, potentially affecting legal proceedings, custody battles, or other disputes. Your actions may be used against you in court or negotiations, damaging your credibility and undermining your efforts to seek justice or protection.

A Narcissist is Deeply Wounded

Instead of fixating on ways to inflict pain on the narcissist, it’s essential to recognize that they are already deeply wounded individuals. Their inability to empathize or find joy in life is a testament to the devastation they carry within them. By seeking revenge, you risk jumping into their boats and sinking deeper with them. Save your ship by dealing with the damage which is already caused in your life.

True healing begins by turning inward and addressing your own wounds. It involves acknowledging the pain you’ve experienced and working through it in a healthy manner. This process requires setting aside thoughts of retaliation and focusing on self-care and personal growth. Once you work on the pain which is already there, you will understand that it’s always been about you and not even the narcissist.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.