Today I’ll be answering the question of what to do when you are really frustrated in your journey.

You may have left the relationship, you’re practicing no contact, or minimized contact, you’re starting your new life, but yet you are so frustrated that you can’t forget about them. You think about the nastiness of the relationship, the hurt they put you through, the fact that they keep circling in your brain, like they are all over the place in your brain. Physically you may have detached or maybe even they’re not calling you, but they’re just there in your head talking to you. You keep hearing voices in your head, you keep hearing these things in your head, so you end up feeling so frustrated and you just wish that you could erase your memory, you just wish that you could do something to forget about everything. So what do you do?

Actually, the first thing you have to do is understand that healing is not about forgetting; healing is getting to the point where the past does not have a grip in your present moment. It’s like understanding, or we can call it inner-standing, because on a deeper level, the past is the past and it’s entirely normal for memories and emotions to keep circling in your mind.

Just like you have a memory of your childhood or a memory from the other day, the mind doesn’t categorize memories as from a long time ago or from yesterday; they are all the same. Memories are all of the past. They can be from yesterday or a month ago, but memories are all from the past. These experiences shape our lives.

If it was a bad memory, that memory may shape our perception of life. For instance, if you were in an abusive relationship, it could shape your perception of relationships. These perceptions are what cause you trouble or hurt in your present life. So, it’s your perception of an event. But because you have negative perceptions and you’re accustomed to them, you feel frustrated.

So understand that it’s normal to have this frustration, and you don’t need to beat yourself up because you can’t forget about them. No, just allow this frustration to be. Just acknowledge it. Do not fight it.

In fact, the more you try to fight it, the more frustrated you become because it’s not possible to forget and just not be frustrated. If you could just allow the frustration. By allowing it, it’s like if you really feel like crying, cry. If you really feel like being angry, just be angry and leave it that way. Don’t tell yourself, “I don’t need to be angry because they were abusive,” or “I don’t need to think about them.”

The moment you resist an actual happening, which is a present emotion, that is where suffering is. So, your suffering is in the resistance of actual pain. But if you could just be watchful of it, then you would not feel frustrated as much, of course, it’s easier said than done.

Then slowly, you will start being gentle with yourself. The more you resist, the more you think you have to forget, the more you fight it, the more frustrated you become. But the more you accept, gradually, the more you come to terms with the past and realize that it’s just that — the past. You won’t see life solely from the perspective of “healing is taking a lot of time for me.” Or “ Why is it not happening sooner?”

Just recognize that. That’s simply memory. As time goes by, you will improve. Of course, the best approach is to seek help, to address underlying issues or challenge perceptions formed due to past experiences. That’s what true healing is — challenging perceptions of past events. By working on these perceptions or addressing those wounds, which are really just interpretations formed due to past negative experiences, you reach a point where the past doesn’t have a grip on your present life. And when the past doesn’t have a hold on your present life, it means you can think about it. Thoughts may circle in your mind, but because you’ve come to terms with it, they don’t throw you into a spiral of negative emotions, sadness, or frustration. You see it for what it is. You may get frustrated, but you won’t carry that frustration into the next day. That’s what healing is all about — it’s about the past not having a grip on your present moment.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.