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Heal to Slay your Inner Narcissist
Experiencing narcissistic abuse can be a traumatizing experience and it can leave deep emotional scars which are long-lasting reminders of what you’ve been through. A narcissist views the world form a very distorted perspective and lacks the empathy for others.
When you are in that relationship, you’ll find yourself doing hurtful things in your quest to survive that relationship (reactive abuse). The narcissist will always frustrate you and demean you and when push comes to shove you may engage in some sort of ‘unhealthy retaliation.’ This unhealthy retaliation can be in the form of rage, breaking a few cups, unleashing your wrath on your innocent kids or innocent strangers online or just any kinds of behaviors which are harmful to others.
The pain you’re feeling has also made you cynical and hateful of men/women in your life because you feel they are all out there to hurt you. Your empathy was exploited by the narcissist and as a defense mechanism, you may adopt this attitude of ‘not caring about others anymore.’ When you’re not aware of all it, you may end up being very hurtful to those who still care about you. You may even think that it’s normal because that’s what you’ve been used to in most of your relationships.
Another thing is once you leave the relationship, you may find yourself feeling angry and very envious of other people who seem to be having ‘normal’ lives. When you find yourself in a new relationship, you may be overly suspicious, controlling or jealous of your partner and you may even try to limit their lives because you’re just afraid of them betraying you again.
These feelings can be very hard to overcome and it may develop into what we can call the ‘inner narcissist.’ The more you stay in a toxic environment, the more you sip in some subtle toxic behaviors or narcissistic tendencies.
Toxic behavior is contagious and if you’re not aware, you will find yourself normalizing some of it after leaving an abusive relationship. You develop this ‘inner narcissist’ as a coping mechanism to survive the hurtful ways the relationship has put you through. It may include behaviors like being overly self-reliant, seeking constant admiration and validation from others, feeling entitled to someone’s care, extreme jealousy, lack of empathy, solely focusing on your own needs at the expense of others.
Your life is just being driven by pain and when you live that way you’ll unconsciously inflict pain on yourself and on other innocent bystanders. You might just find yourself exhibiting some of their mind games and behaviors after you’ve left the relationship.
Conclusion
You may develop some narcissistic tendencies (or we can call it toxic) as a result of staying in an abusive relationship for a long time. Don’t beat yourself up so much as those are just defense mechanisms you used to protect yourself against someone who’s made your life a living hell. But you need to be aware that living in that state is not sustainable and it will ruin your ability to form healthy connections. You will even end up hurting yourself or even continuing unleashing some of the narcissist’s emotional ways on yourself.
The bright side is you can slay that ‘inner narcissist’ by going inwards and processing your trauma and pain so that you can connect with the loving you. When you deal with your toxic tendencies, you’ll be rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself which then sprouts out to be healthy and deep fulfilling connections with others.
On the other hand, living with deep feelings of hate and resentment will just weigh you down. Your empathy is not your weakness, it’s a great superpower and you don’t have to let pain hold you back. Lastly, it’s not easy to slay that narcissist because it will feed you with a whole lot of ‘reasonable excuses’ on why you need to keep living that way. It may even look like it’s serving you but that’s not your true self, it’s just a cloak of painful memories and experiences.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.
