I get it; you don’t trust anyone because those you trusted in the past have betrayed you or crossed your most valuable boundaries. Your family, your partner, the supposed love of your life, or your knight in shining armor may have in some way hurt you or not met your simple and basic expectations. And now, you feel that no one can be trusted, especially when it comes to sensitive matters related to your own well-being. You can trust a mechanic to repair your car because it’s just a car, but when it comes to transforming yourself or working on those limiting beliefs, you believe that no one can help you.

I get it; you may have tried some techniques or tools recommended by your psychologist, therapist, or just some advice, but it didn’t work for you. You may have probably ended up being triggered and even felt worse than before you started. Your counselor may have also gaslighted you or looked at you ‘sympathetically’ or with eyes that implied you’re beyond help.

Then, you throw your hands up in the air and said, ‘Forget it all, seeking help doesn’t work,’ and you now say to yourself, ‘Since they don’t really “understand” me, I am going to do it myself.’ I am going to gorge on every trauma, inner child, or deep healing book or article or videos on the web, which have been written by other people (this is worth highlighting because there’s a contradiction as you’re trusting other people but now indirectly through their writings).

https://biiedwin.gumroad.com/l/BreakingChains

You end up collecting a lot of techniques and tools, and you convince yourself that you know and can do it by yourself. That’s when you’ve developed this archetype of being the superhero in your healing journey.

What Does it Mean to Be the Superhero in Your Healing Journey?

When you’re the superhero in your healing journey, you see every attempt to help as a scam. No mental health professional is to be trusted, and you deeply believe that nothing will work for you, no therapy or no form of help will work for you. You actually hate asking for help and you even see it as a sign of weakness. You approach it with negative skepticism and suspicion, viewing it as a ploy to part you from your money or time. Your prevailing attitude resonates with, “They lack the expertise or no one can truly provide what you can’t provide for yourself.” You may also find satisfaction in being your own self-sufficient problem solver, placing a significant emphasis on your independence rather than prioritizing your well-being. This outlook results in you resenting anyone who dares to point out the pitfalls of immersing yourself in your self-imposed isolation and skepticism.

Your emotions are unquestionably valid, and I want to make it clear that I acknowledge that. However, the rationale behind your belief that you don’t require assistance from others is where the issue lies. It’s not that I doubt your ability to handle things independently; in fact, there’s a paradox at play here because, even when you seek help, you are still the one doing the inner work.

A monkey does not see its ass- African Swahili Proverb

Temptation of Being A Superhero

Continuing on this journey of being a superhero, a fascinating paradox arises. Initially, as you dive headfirst into doing all the inner work independently, you may indeed observe improvements in your life. You’ll likely experience a sense of empowerment and self-sufficiency that can be quite rewarding. It’s a powerful feeling to take control of your own healing process, and you’ll likely find yourself offering advice and guidance to others who are traversing similar paths, sharing your newfound knowledge and insights. This sense of purpose and the ability to assist others can be genuinely fulfilling.

However, as you go deeper into your healing journey, a certain feeling of unease may still persist deep within you. Despite the progress you’ve made and the knowledge you’ve gained from various sources, you might still feel that something essential remains unresolved or not quite right.

The reason for this lingering disquiet often lies in the fact that, even with all the inner child work, journaling, and the valuable lessons learned from external sources, there are emotional layers and complexities that necessitate external support and guidance. This realization may lead you to understand that while personal growth and healing are profoundly personal journeys, they don’t have to be solitary endeavors. Seeking help, whether from therapists, mentors, or support groups, doesn’t diminish your strength or self-sufficiency; rather, it enhances your capacity to address the intricacies of your healing process.

Downside of Being a Superhero In Your Healing Journey

Being your own superhero in your healing journey has its drawbacks, much like not being able to see the trash in your own house because it’s become too familiar and comfortable. When you solely rely on yourself for healing, you might overlook certain emotional blind spots, much like the dirt under the couch that goes unnoticed. These blind spots, or emotional issues, could be deeply ingrained and remain hidden even though they impact your well-being.

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When you go about it on your own, you may inadvertently apply the wrong solution to the right problem or the right solution to the wrong problem. It’s similar to painting your house to mask a foul stench instead of addressing the root cause which is cleaning the house, all because you’ve convinced yourself that this is the only solution, and no one can convince you otherwise. This is the essence of being the superhero in your healing journey.

A Real ‘Superhero’ Seeks Help

Here’s the thing, you are not seeking help because you cannot do it on your own. In fact, when you seek help, you’re still the one doing all the inner work, but you have someone who intervenes or points you towards those stuck emotions, those contradictions, those self-biases, and offers you a safe space for you to fully process your emotions or to clean your basement.

You have someone who reveals the hidden trash you might not be consciously or unconsciously aware of in your basement or under the couch. They also assist you in cleaning it up without passing judgment or criticism for not having tackled it earlier. This is the essence of a safe space.

Thus, you’re transitioning from being an external superhero, merely for display or to appease your ego, to an internal superhero who delves into those profound emotions and feelings that erode your trust in others and your ability to ensure your own safety.

Which superhero do you aspire to be: an egotistical one or a genuine superhero who engages in inner work and is open to seeking guidance when navigating unfamiliar terrain?

Asking for help doesn’t signify helplessness; it signifies a stronger desire and a willingness to embrace fresh perspectives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, you can do the healing work by yourself, but you might also remain stuck because you’d be using the same tainted lens or identity to seek solutions to your problems. You can work on it alone, but working on it with someone who intervenes or possesses a better understanding, due to their daily practice or specialization, will be quicker and more cost-effective.

We all need each other; seeking help doesn’t mean that you’re giving up your superhero status. It means that you’re becoming another kind of superhero, one who’s open to new perspectives, one who is honest enough to see that they’ve been trying their ‘superheroing’ for years, and so far what you’ve achieved is deep emptiness and mistrust in others, and a whole string of psychological jargon, jargon that can ‘physically fill a whole room,’ but cannot fully heal or transform the inner pain or process those stuck emotions. You might logically know and even fully understand all types of inner wounds, but they all scratch the surface or add a heap of ‘good trash’ on top of the trash that needs to be removed.

It can save you years of being trapped in a repetitive cycle, repeatedly hitting the same wall, as you are unable to see the door. The door remains hidden because you operate with a blurred lens. Seeking help is similar to someone guiding you towards the door, but you are the one who ultimately walks to the door and opens it. You are the superhero who open the doors or finds the key to your infinite possibilities locked inside you. Empowering, isn’t it?

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.