You know, how our minds perceive things in life can be pretty funny at times, especially when we see the world through just that tiny lens, thinking we’ve got it all figured out or we know. Life really has a way of showing us that we know nothing, and it’s really a complex thing.

I am talking about when we act surprised when someone whom we expected to do something does the opposite or doesn’t do something completely within the expectation you had towards that person.

Think about it. How many times have we said this, “I’m sure that person would never do that,” or “I never thought that they could do that or that could happen?” We all do it to some extent, depending on our broad understanding of human nature.

You see, we normally build these ideas about people, especially those close to us like our friends, our family, and sometimes we even extend this to our leaders, gurus, or spiritual guides. We naively set so many standards and how-tos for these people without opening our eyes to the other side.

We lock them in tight little boxes of expectation without keeping things open. I’ve built those ideas myself as well; I’ve even built ideas about myself, only for the world to slap me in the face with, “You’re just a mere mortal — hehe.”

But here’s the thing: people aren’t boxes; they’re more like those shape-shifting aliens in sci-fi movies. They adapt, learn, or reveal. Some may reveal their dark side and do unimaginable things, while others may grow towards the light side and do great deeds for humanity.

So, we’ve got to always be willing to take a step back and look at the big picture or look at the structure or spectrum of human behaviour.

While we’re sitting here or there feeling so sure that your partner will not lie to you, your brother or sister would never be corrupt, or you would never entertain someone who is manipulative, or your best friend will never betray you, look at what’s happening in the world. People are manipulating and hurting each other left, right, and centre, and sadly, even killing each other on a daily basis. It’s not a pretty scene, but it’s real, it’s happening.

Wisdom not Paranoia

Now, I’m not saying we should all become paranoid and trust no one or lock ourselves up. No, it’s about being real and seeing things for what they are, and there’s wisdom in understanding that people — all people — have the capacity to surprise us, for better or worse.

It’s like we’re all walking around with these little flashlights, lighting just a small part of the world. We see what’s right in front of us and not any further, and then we think, “Yep, this is how things are, and I am sure of it.” But life is more like a vast, deep dark forest. There’s so much more out there that we’re not seeing.

Wisdom is different from naivety; it’s not really about expecting the worst from people or being suspicious and waiting for them to surprise us. No, it’s about being open to the whole spectrum of human behavior. It’s like saying, “I hope for the best, but I understand that human beings are complex. They have motives — some good, some not so good, but motives nonetheless.”

Closed Mindedness Breeds Denial

Another thing we need to understand about acting surprised or being closed-minded to how those close to you are supposed to behave is that when they finally do it, when they finally start manipulating you, you can feel like the ground is crumbling beneath your feet. And our first instinct is to deny, deny, deny or to say, “That can’t be true.

My pastor or my partner cannot do that; I’ve known them since childhood.” But that’s just us, stuck in our little corner of understanding. We will even get stuck analysing or trying to find a ‘motive’ so that we can excuse their behaviour without really seeing the reality for what it is or just honestly telling yourself, “I didn’t expect this, but I understand it’s possible as I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” That’s wisdom. It’s about not being that surprised by human nature, in all its beautiful and sometimes ugly complexity.

Conclusion

Don’t stop loving or trusting, but don’t sleep on it either. Always approach it with awareness and an open mind, knowing that they might disappoint us, and it’s okay. That deep understanding in itself breeds compassion instead of resentment. It’s actually so freeing when you reach the point where you don’t need a million explanations or to be convinced when your reality is shattered by that beloved.

So, next time you find yourself saying, “I’m 100% sure they would never do that,” take a moment, step out of that box, and remember, “You know nothing — -.” They might surprise you with great deeds like world peace, and they might also surprise you with a world war. That’s humanity.

I wrote this because those close to me have been pretty surprised lately, and I also got surprised that they couldn’t understand. I had to remind myself that I know nothing; I am just learning.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.