When we start setting boundaries for the first time, it will seem heavy, like trying to lift weights for the first time. It will be uncomfortable, and you will even want to drop the weight and run away. Those heavy boundaries could be saying no to your mom or dad’s constant complaining or trauma dumping and sticking to it despite the guilt trips, or cutting off the best friend who you’ve been through a lot with in the past but who constantly borrows money and rarely repays.

But here’s the thing — that heaviness is actually a great aspect of your boundary-setting journey. It means you’re becoming aware of something that the boundary-less you was hiding. Without boundaries, you were probably holding back the resentment and anger towards those people who’ve been exploiting you. Those uncommunicated words never go away but are stored in a compartment inside you. That’s the heaviness of the bulky emotions you’ve been holding back by letting people do as they wish.

When they feel heavy when you practice them, stick to them and work on feeling the heaviness, and it will get lighter and lighter as boundaries are new territory for you. When you start to say no to that faraway relative, you will surely feel the heaviness, and the real work is sticking to it even when a million people tell you you’re becoming selfish, or you don’t understand others.

With boundaries, you will not be the favourite of the ‘YOU’ who was used to being walked over by everyone. The distance between that false you, laden with false narratives and beliefs about how you’re supposed to live life, is now the heaviness you’re feeling when you set and enforce those boundaries for the first time.

With healthy boundaries, you’re bridging the gap between your current identity and your true self, and that heaviness is what you will let go of.

Sometimes it may feel so heavy that you want to go back to your default setting, especially when those boundaries are set towards your parents or those people you’ve been programmed to ‘respect’ or obey. But stick to them, as the more you stick to them, the easier it gets. You grow, and as you grow, boundary setting will also become a piece of cake.

So, it may be heavy at first to maintain those boundaries, but as you keep sticking to them, the heaviness will slowly dissipate until you understand that you’re the boundary, and it’s an inseparable aspect of your being.

Don’t give up when it feels heavy. That weight is just your old self trying to hold you back. Keep pushing, keep growing, and soon enough, you’ll be flying free, boundaries intact, living life on your own terms. You’ve got this!

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.