After being in a relationship with a narcissist, you might find yourself avoiding social situations, losing friends, preferring to stay indoors, or withdrawing from social interactions and feeling more comfortable alone. This shift in your life might lead you to wonder if the narcissist or the relationship turned you into an introvert.

Before the relationship, you may have exhibited some extroverted behaviours or felt bubbly in social situations, or simply enjoyed being out there with friends. However, after the relationship, you flipped to the opposite side, which largely involves shying away from social situations or basically not wanting any interactions with humans.

What Does it Mean to Be an Introvert?

When you are an introvert, or rather exhibit introverted behaviours, you prefer quieter or less stimulating environments, and you recharge by spending time alone, as compared to extroverts who love spending time in social interactions

However, introversion is not about fear or avoidance. It’s a natural inclination or preference, not a response to trauma. That’s where we really get stuck, we identify ourselves as introverts not because it’s our choice but due to the extreme fear of being in social situations.

The Problem with Labels

I’m not a fan of labels, especially when they’re used as a convenient explanation for complex behaviours. Calling yourself or identifying as an introvert because you’re afraid of social situations doesn’t address the root cause — the fear you’ve picked up from past experiences. These labels can offer some comfort or a sense of belonging, but they limit us from seeing our potential.

Labels are more like boxes; when you’re stuck in them, you may not have a clear view of your whole life.

You cannot truly grow when the box is closed, nor can you challenge yourself to go beyond your current state.

That’s why you need to be wary of any kind of label or box you fit yourself into, or even that personality test you want to do. It can be a good thing for your ego, which will always seek self-preservation and may even convince you that you were born that way so that you cannot question it or change. You may have thought all along that you’re introverted, but you simply are just afraid.

Introversion by Choice vs. Introversion by Fear

There’s a huge difference between choosing to be introverted and feeling forced into it by fear. If you’re avoiding people because of social anxiety, past trauma, or fear of judgment, that’s not true introversion — it’s just a trauma response or a coping mechanism your mind carefully crafts to keep you stuck and push you away from facing your deepest fears.

So, healing is about reclaiming that choice — the choice that has been taken away by your thoughts and emotions stemming from past experiences with people who hurt you or whom you thought cared about you but ended up hurting you. It’s about being able to engage socially when you want to, without fear holding you back. It’s also about preferring solitude sometimes, not hiding in it.

Narcissistic abuse can distort your view of relationships or ruin your inner belief system to the point where you might feel safer avoiding people, as your mind has associated social interactions with pain, danger, or betrayal.

This is why you might think that the narcissist turned you into an introvert, but what actually happened is that the painful experiences you had have crippled you and made you fearful of social situations as a protective measure. In short, this isn’t introversion — it’s a protective mechanism your mind has developed.

Challenge Those Labels

So, if you want to grow beyond your current perceptions in life, you need to step out of that box, whether it’s introvert, empath, or any other seemingly convenient label, and truly see yourself without those labels. You may think you’re introverted, but you’re just afraid of dealing with the unprocessed fears.

Your mind has crafted beautiful chains to hold you back from seeing your unhealed wounds.

But as you step out and feel the discomfort, you may realize that all those things that you think define you are not truly you. It will feel anxious at first, but by feeling that fear and worry, you’re allowing the natural process to take over.

Most of your deep fears are not genuine fears but fears stemming from memories of past hurts. By overcoming them or by seeing them for what they are, you rise above and recognize the limitations of carrying fixed identities and labels, which end up doing more harm than good in your life.

So, if you really, really think you’re introverted, think again. Don’t let labels distract you from dealing with your own issues or facing your inner struggles. With fear, you’re confined by a label; with healing, you regain your choice, and being an introvert becomes a matter of behaviour rather than identity.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.