When it comes to relationships, facing an abusive ex can stir up a mix of emotions. Even though they may have mistreated you emotionally or otherwise, there’s often a lingering sense that they still have something to offer outside of romance. Maybe they have skills or connections that could be beneficial for things like finding a job or navigating other areas of life that aren’t related to dating. So, the idea of staying friends with them might cross your mind. After all, if there’s no romantic involvement, what’s the harm, right?

What should you do if your abusive ex wants to be friends? Do you just say yes, become friends again, and start talking every day?

The answer is always no. There’s no other option, especially if someone hurt you or crossed your boundaries during your relationship. Just because the relationship is over doesn’t mean they won’t do it again. It’s still the same person, just in a different context. The best thing to do when moving on from a relationship is to forget about them first. Clinging to them only keeps you stuck in the past. If you keep in touch, it’s easy to slip back into old habits, like flirting. So, if someone asks to be your friend, just say no or block them and focus on yourself. Even if you agree to be friends, they won’t truly be there for you like a real friend would be.

A friend is someone you trust, but you know you can’t trust that person. So, what’s the point of being friends with them? In reality, your authentic self doesn’t truly want to be friends with them. But sometimes, you might cling to the idea of friendship because you fear missing them or hold onto hope that they’ll change. This hope often leads to a common scenario: believing that by staying close, you can monitor their change and possibly reconcile.

It never works out that way. In fact, the more you cling to them, the more you hurt yourself, making it easier for them to draw you back into the same unhealthy cycle. Yes, you may feel lonely, and the relationship might have caused you to isolate from friends, but your ex, especially if they were abusive, shouldn’t be the person you are considering as a friend. Instead, it’s crucial to let go, say no, or block them. Don’t entertain any opportunities they present because they’ll likely continue to manipulate and control you. They’ll see that you’re still available as a fallback if their other relationships fail, and that’s not a position you want to be in.

If you agree to be “friends,” they’ll likely manipulate you. You might end up being their emotional support when things aren’t going well for them. Feeling sympathetic, you might open your door and let them back into your life. They’re aware of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, making it hard for you to keep them away.

If you’re truly considering being friends with them, make sure you’ve done the necessary work first. That means understanding your own boundaries and healing from past wounds and negative beliefs about yourself. Once you’ve achieved that, you’ll approach all your relationships from a place of wholeness, not from a sense of lacking or fear.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.