Ever found yourself in a situation where you think you’ve forgiven someone — whether it’s a parent, a friend, or an ex — for something they’ve done, but now you don’t want to see them again? It’s natural to start doubting if you’ve truly forgiven them. Is it really forgiveness if you’re not willing to reconcile or not see them again?

One common misconception about forgiveness is the belief that it involves allowing the person who wronged us back into our lives or needing to engage in some sort of negotiation with them. But that’s not what forgiveness is about. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person at all — it’s about you and your own inner peace.

Forgiveness, simply put, is releasing the anger and resentment you harbor towards someone who has wronged you. It’s about letting go of those negative feelings. When you’re able to let go of the anger and resentment caused by another person’s actions, it signifies that you have a choice in how you respond to the situation. This choice can lead in different directions, depending on your own journey towards forgiveness.

You have the freedom to decide whether you want to reconnect with the person who hurt you or to keep your distance. However, this choice is influenced by your inner feelings and the level of peace you experience when considering seeing them again. A good indicator of whether you’ve truly forgiven someone is to examine your actions and attitudes towards that person. For instance, if you’re questioning whether you’ve forgiven them and find that you don’t want to see them, it may suggest that there is still some resistance and you may not have fully let go of the anger and resentment you have towards them.

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It’s important to recognize that there may be another reason for not wanting to see them: a sense of indifference towards them. In this case, you don’t feel negative emotions or harbor any resentment or hate towards them. That is what true forgiveness is all about, it’s you releasing the burden of past hurts and atrocities inflicted upon you. It’s about letting go of that weight and finding peace within yourself. You don’t have to reconcile or even see them, you just reconcile within yourself by acknowledging the hurt and letting it go.

Once you’ve released the burden of resentment, you regain a sense of freedom and choice. For example, if you’ve forgiven a parent, you can decide whether to visit them or not without feeling conflicted. Both options feel equally acceptable because you’ve detached from any lingering negative emotions. Similarly, when it comes to the person you don’t want to see, your decision is based on choice rather than fear or lingering anger. You’re at peace with either seeing them or not and it doesn’t stir some feelings of hate and resentment towards them.

Forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it’s about your own inner journey. It’s a profound process that can’t be rushed. You need to let yourself truly feel the anger and resentment, allowing those emotions to surface and be acknowledged. It’s not a simple action you can just perform — it’s a process of allowing yourself to confront and process those difficult feelings. Once you’ve faced them head-on and processed them, you’ll realize that forgiveness isn’t as overwhelming as it may seem. It’s about forgiving yourself for enduring what you did, rather than absolving the other person of their actions. They serve as reminders of past pain, but it’s your journey to heal from it. If encountering them triggers those familiar feelings of hurt and resentment, it’s a sign that there’s still some work to be done. It’s a deeply personal journey that only you can navigate, and it’s not something you can simply announce to the other person — it’s an internal realization that you reach on your own terms, by allowing yourself to feel, release, and let go of those emotions.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.