Today I’d like to answer this question of why your abusive partner, or your ex becomes so angered when you are happy?

And when I say “happy,” I’m referring to even just a simple smile or the satisfaction of achieving something, whether it’s a small success in your career or a personal accomplishment. There are times when you might want to share news of your achievements, like landing a new job or a great opportunity, expecting them to share in your joy. However, instead of celebrating with you, you’re met with their anger and even being scolded.

The primary reason they become angered when you’re happy is that they feel they are losing control over you. Happiness is closely tied to a sense of independence. When you experience happiness, it often means deriving satisfaction from external sources, beyond their influence. Manipulative individuals thrive in relationships where they exert control, and the dynamic survives because they maintain that control. Therefore, when you express happiness, it signifies that you’re finding satisfaction away from them or from other sources. This threatens their perceived control over you, especially since they may have ingrained the belief that you can only find happiness through them. As a result, when you show signs of happiness and independence, they perceive it as a loss of their grip on you, leading to their anger.

Another factor contributing to their anger when they witness your happiness is rooted in jealousy. Seeing you smile and celebrate ignites feelings of resentment within them, as they yearn to be in your place. While a certain degree of jealousy is common, their emotions are intensified by their deep-seated insecurities. This jealousy stems from a comparison with you, amplifying their feelings of inadequacy and triggering bouts of anger.

Therefore, it’s often best not to share your successes with them and instead celebrate them privately or with supportive friends. While you might feel compelled to share your achievements with them to validate yourself or prove your worth, the result is unlikely to be positive. Your happiness and progress, whether it’s a smile or advancements in your career, signify your own accomplishments and growth, independent of their influence. It’s essential to take pride in yourself and recognize that you’re pursuing these achievements for your own fulfillment, not to seek validation from them.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.