Today, I am going to be answering a very interesting question where someone asked about their emotionally-abusive ex-partner who had discarded them, then even blocked them, but after some time, they have unblocked them but they’re not calling them. The only answer to this question is not really in understanding the intentions of your ex but it’s in looking at yourself and simply acknowledging that you’re still keeping tabs on your ex. The fact that you know they’ve unblocked you and the fact that you even ask about why they’re not doing what you think they ought to be doing, i.e., calling you back, simply means you are secretly wanting them to call you or you’re bothered that they’re not calling back.

When it comes to moving on from abusive relationships or any kind of relationship, we do get glued so much to what the other party does to the point where we spend countless times learning about their behaviors, what they do, or some of the patterns they display post-relationship. While it may offer some degree of closure or a false sense of closure knowing some of the things they might do after breaking up with you, it’s still never equivalent to healing.

In fact, the more you focus on what they might do, the more you obsess over someone who’s hurt you in the past, the more you’re allowing them to dictate your present life indirectly. The focus of attention should be on questions like, “Why am I waiting for them to call?” or “Why am I not moving on?” When you focus on yourself in your healing journey, it will, of course, be painful because you’re acknowledging that it is your responsibility to let go of the baggage, or to keep and uphold healthy boundaries, and no amount of focus on others will set you free. You will understand that it can be quite comforting to just focus on them, but it will only keep you stuck with the pain much longer. You suffer when you focus on what they do, but you progress when you face the pain.

So, as always, abusive people may or may not exhibit the same behaviors or patterns after leaving the relationship, but that is not within your control. What’s within your control is looking at the steps you’re taking to heal the damage they’ve already caused in your life. Most of the things you’re doing in the guise of moving on are just holding you down and keeping you stuck in your healing. Stop focusing on what they will or will not do, and focus on what you’re doing, and slowly but surely, you will climb that mountain and be free from the past.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.