How Do You Move Beyond A Relationship With Someone Who Is Controlling You?

Today I would like to answer this question of how do you move beyond a relationship with someone who is controlling you?

By controlling here, I mean someone who is controlling your finances, who is controlling your movement, who is controlling your phone activity. Like, it’s just someone who’s on your neck all the time. Like, how do you move beyond that relationship? Or how do you step out of that?

First, let’s talk about the logical side, which is crucial. If you’re dealing with someone who’s always watching everything you do, it means you’re not safe. So, the first thing you need to do is make sure you’re safe.

Ensuring your safety doesn’t entail negotiating with them. If someone is extremely controlling, removing that control might trigger a reaction or some sort of rage. The downside of extreme control is that it often stems from them trying to escape something.

So, if you take away their control, they might not just walk away peacefully. Their reaction could be physical, violent, or pose further harm to you. That’s why prioritizing your safety comes first. Assess your situation carefully.

If you have trusted friends, family, or social service support, don’t hesitate to reach out to them. They can help keep you safe, even if it means involving the authorities, provided they understand the gravity of the situation. However, in some places, seeking help from authorities may not be fruitful as they may not perceive the issue as a crime. Therefore, it’s crucial to assess your circumstances and prioritize your safety, whether it’s seeking assistance from understanding friends, family, or opting for no contact.

Take Small Steps Towards Independence

Another logical step you can take is to begin gradually moving towards independence. This means focusing on practical aspects rather than emotional ones.

For someone who is extremely controlling, it indicates that there’s some aspect of your life that’s crucial or fulfilling a need they’re exploiting. It could involve finances, friendships, or freedom of movement. When they exert control in these areas, it’s a sign that you need to find alternatives.

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For instance, if they control you due to financial dependency, consider strategies to increase your income, like saving money, seeking secret employment, or exploring side hustles. Avoid disclosing your job search to them, as they may obstruct your efforts. By addressing these practical needs, such as financial stability, you can gain greater independence. This newfound independence may enable you to relocate or find a safe place to stay, especially if you have children. It’s essential to focus on these logical steps rather than getting caught up in emotions like love or attachment especially as those emotions will feed you will all justifications to stay with them. By addressing the practical aspects, you may uncover opportunities to break free from the relationship.

Of course, it won’t be easy, and success depends on your individual circumstances and background. However, these are practical steps you can consider. Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you can see progress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by these choices, seeking professional help is a viable option. Professionals can assist you in navigating the emotional aspects and recognizing your inner strength, providing invaluable support along your journey. Yet, accessing professional help may be challenging if your partner is extremely controlling. In such cases, take things one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and create space for personal growth.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.