A narcissist will always seek to control and manipulate you so that they can satisfy their own needs using various strange and insidious manipulation techniques. They will create chaos to keep you focused on them, knowing that they cannot sustain your interest for long because their façade will eventually crumble. They will attempt to distort your reality to prevent you from seeing their true selves while you continue to fulfill their selfish needs. One of the techniques a narcissist employs is called baiting.

To understand baiting, imagine you’re a fish in a lake, and the narcissist is the fisherman. The fisherman will use different and highly effective baits to catch their fish. They may have preferred types of baits, but they know which one to use when catching different species of fish. That’s how narcissistic baiting works; they have various kinds of baits in their arsenal that they use effectively to satisfy their needs. In simple terms, baiting is the act of luring, trapping, or enticing someone or something.

Narcissistic baiting occurs when they intentionally act in a way that aims to provoke an emotional response from you. Narcissists use baiting when they want to initiate an argument, embarrass you, taunt you, or fulfill their needs. Baiting triggers feelings of anxiety, confusion, fear, or guilt, making it easier for them to manipulate you. Baiting is yet another way for them to demonstrate their superiority and assert their power in the relationship. Recognizing manipulative techniques is one step towards staying ahead of their game.

Types of Narcissistic Baiting & How to Handle Them

There are numerous examples of baits that a narcissist may employ, but the best way to identify them is to observe anything they do to trigger an emotional reaction from you. Some common narcissistic baits include:

1. False Accusations

A narcissist will accuse you falsely of something you haven’t done to prompt you to defend yourself. This is particularly easy to fall for, as you likely know you’re innocent and will want to argue your truth.

They might also spread these false accusations to people around you as part of a smear campaign. The confidence and certainty with which they make these false accusations can be confusing, causing you to question yourself. They may also make false accusations about your friends and family, leading you to defend yourself or distance yourself from them.

Dealing with False Accusations — Refrain from reacting, as that’s what they’re hoping for. Always hold onto your version of reality; your truth is your truth.

2. Future Faking

A narcissist will bait you with a fabricated future to maintain control over you. They will mirror your deepest desires and offer false hope that they will make those desires a reality.

They will make empty promises whenever they want to manipulate and ensnare you. Future faking preys on your hope, causing you to rationalize abusive behaviors in the relationship to avoid jeopardizing the promised future.

Dealing with Future Faking — Don’t compromise your boundaries for promises you’re uncertain of. See them for who they are in the present moment.

3. Silent Treatment and Stonewalling

A narcissist will bait you by going silent, especially when you haven’t met their expectations. They will ignore you and cut off communication to send a message. This is a perfect bait, as the discomfort you feel might lead you to beg for communication, even lowering your boundaries to end the awkward silence. The silent treatment can make you feel guilty and anxious, causing you to question what you’ve done wrong to deserve their silence.

Dealing with Silent Treatment — The best approach is to mirror their behavior. Don’t attempt to make them talk; instead, remain silent yourself and prioritize self-care.

4. Provoking Fear & Scare Mongering

A narcissist will bait you by exploiting your vulnerabilities. They may threaten to do something that scares you or would embarrass you. They might imply that they could ruin your life if you ever betray them. The goal is to make you fearful so they can manipulate you.

Dealing with Scaremongering — This is the most challenging bait to deal with. Assess the level of threat and document the threat if possible. If you feel unsafe, consider reporting to the appropriate authorities or cutting off contact immediately.

5. Triangulation

Triangulation involves the narcissist introducing another party into your relationship to evoke jealousy. It’s about creating an illusion of their popularity and desirability to prompt you to fight for their attention. They may triangulate you with your friends or someone close to you. This bait aims to make you feel insecure and push you to question the narcissist’s actions.

Dealing with Triangulation — The best strategy is to distance yourself from this manipulation. Without participants, the game can’t continue. Don’t be drawn into the perceived competition, and recognize the lengths they go to feed their ego.

6. Playing Victim & Pity Ploys

A narcissist will bait you by portraying themselves as a victim. They might discuss their painful past at opportune moments to evoke your compassion and prompt you to cater to their needs. They may imply that their feelings are a result of something you’ve done or haven’t done (see Blame Shifting). You may find yourself comforting them and feeling guilty for causing them distress.

Dealing with Playing Victim & Pity Ploys — While you may be naturally compassionate, remember your boundaries and focus on what’s within your control.

7. Claiming Insider Information

Another form of narcissistic baiting occurs when the narcissist claims to possess crucial information related to your interests. This information is presented vaguely to arouse anxiety, fear, or eagerness for more. They might suggest that they have insider information due to their connections, leading you to contact them or perform tasks for them in exchange for the promised valuable information. This is how they engage you and capture your attention.

Dealing with Claiming Insider Information — Understand their potential for manipulation and recognize that the information they provide may be false. Don’t fall for their tactics; stay true to your principles.

8. Sensitive Topics

Occasionally, a narcissist will bait you by discussing sensitive topics that make you uncomfortable. These topics may trigger undesirable reactions as you try to stop them from discussing them. They may bring up these subjects in front of others to provoke you and use your ‘highly reactive’ nature to their advantage. They might also joke about these topics to evoke an emotional response or embarrassment from you.

Dealing with Triggers — The best approach for this bait is to walk away when triggered and avoid reacting as they intend.

Conclusion

Baiting involves the narcissist manipulating your vulnerabilities, strengths, and insecurities to provoke an emotional response. There’s no limit to what a narcissist will do to satisfy their needs, which is why the best course of action is to distance yourself from them as much as possible.

However, this isn’t always feasible, and that’s where understanding their manipulative techniques becomes valuable, enabling you to be better prepared for their tactics. It’s essential to note that a narcissist will continue to bait you even after you’ve left the relationship, but you hold the key to the door that lets them in.

The more grounded you are in your reality and the better you understand your boundaries, the more you’ll view the narcissist’s games as mere childishness. Leaving the relationship is the optimal choice, but if you can’t, start building the courage to stand up for yourself. You deserve a better life, and no one should exploit your weaknesses, strengths, or insecurities for their gain.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.