Today I’ll be answering the question of why you are avoidant after leaving an abusive relationship. Avoidant here means you avoid everything — your friends, the things you enjoy, work, even going to the gym. You just want to isolate yourself from everyone. Actually, it is a very normal experience to be avoidant after an abusive relationship. This is because when you push everything away, it stops you from thinking about the past.

When you interact with friends, they may ask about your ex or inquire about what happened. Because you don’t have the strength to answer those questions, you end up choosing avoidance. In this initial stage, avoidance is about keeping yourself safe from those difficult questions to which you don’t have answers. You’re not sure what hit you, what made them change their behavior, or the best way forward for you. So, you may choose to avoid because every instance, whether going to the gym or work, can be a trigger that reminds you of your ex, leading to tears and you seeing the pain you’re suppressing.

Feeling avoidance is a normal behavior; it’s like wanting to be with yourself and avoid everything because everything serves as a trigger, bringing back past painful experiences. Avoidance seems like you’re protecting yourself by pushing the pain away, but triggers are good things. When you’re triggered, the pain comes to the surface, and that’s the best time to work on it. Healing is about feeling and seeing the pain, not a complicated process requiring crystals or countless books.

Avoidance may help initially, but it’s not a long-term solution unless you are avoiding and simultaneously working on it. Seeking help can simplify the process, providing a safe space to express yourself and face the pain. Facing the pain is the long-term solution, and although it might seem painful, it’s the mind’s way of keeping you stuck. Avoiding may work for a while, but it’s not a sustainable solution — it will eventually catch up with you. Deal with the pain so you can start enjoying life, relationships, and endless opportunities.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.