Today, I’ll be answering the question: Do abusers normally call you after no contact? Do all of them call you? Because I’ve seen this question where someone was saying, “Why is it that my abusive ex has not called me after leaving an abusive relationship?” So, this is where we get it very wrong. Not every situation is a one-size-fits-all. When we say all narcissists do this or that, all abusers do that, it doesn’t mean that all of them do the same thing. It’s just a common characteristic, and they may exhibit different manipulative ways. Yes, we might lump them into one umbrella of isolation, manipulation, etc., but there is no one-size-fits-all.

That’s why we may also get lost in analyzing things about your abusive ex. Do they call? What does it mean? What does it mean when they don’t call? Because we are trying to find meanings to things about them, and that’s where we get it wrong. Most victims of abuse get stuck in their healing journey by trying to analyze why they do certain things. Why don’t they call me? Why did they call me? Why did they want me back? Why did they apologize? Because you are getting stuck on them. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at the negative or positive aspects of the abusive ex. All those things in your mind are still glued to them. You’re thinking about them, and the more you think about someone else, the more you forget about yourself.

Instead of looking at how you can deal with the pain, how you can reclaim yourself, how you can establish boundaries in life, you end up distracting yourself by focusing on them. Your mind wants to keep you stuck in a familiar space because it doesn’t want to face the pain. It will always look for distractions to push you away from the reality, which is the pain deep inside. Not all abusive people exhibit the same behaviors, but one thing for sure is that you are in a lot of pain. Anything else you do aside from dealing with that pain is a distraction from the healing process. Healing is in that pain.

So, stop focusing on why they do certain things and start focusing on how you can overcome the pain. That is a great place to be in your healing journey, and that’s how you take full responsibility for your healing journey. The answers are not with them; they are with you and in facing the pain in your healing journey.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.