This is a remarkably common phenomenon, and when I work with clients, one of my initial questions is about the unhealthy habits they’ve developed after being in an abusive relationship. These often include smoking, vaping, excessive drinking, lack of exercise, emotional eating, procrastination, overthinking, and other destructive behaviors detrimental to one’s health. So, why does this pattern emerge after leaving an abusive relationship?

The primary reason lies in the temporary gratification these habits provide. Smoking or drinking, for instance, offer a momentary relief from emotions like anxiety, stress, or depression. In the abusive relationship, emotions were often suppressed, and once you exit, these emotions resurface, needing processing and release. However, due to a lack of familiarity with handling emotions, individuals might find themselves overwhelmed by these uncomfortable sensations. Unhealthy habits then become a means of escape from these emotions.

Another contributing factor is the familiarity of toxicity. Having been accustomed to mistreatment and hurt in the abusive relationship, the mind internalizes toxicity. This internal toxicity can attract other unhealthy behaviors, reinforcing the belief that you don’t deserve to take care of yourself or you’re not worthy. Engaging in unhealthy habits becomes a reaffirmation that you deserve to be in a toxic state. It’s a familiar environment for the mind, reinforcing negative perceptions you have about yourself. Your actions and circumstances are mostly driven by what you deeply believe a bout yourself.

These unhealthy habits serve as coping mechanisms for unprocessed emotions and a reflection of the internalized toxicity. Therefore, it is crucial to work on healing and processing these emotions after abuse. Merely leaving the relationship is not enough, as unaddressed issues tend to manifest in destructive patterns that can harm your health.

It’s essential to deal with the root causes rather than just practicing no contact or just studying about them. Processing the stuck emotions inside will help you realize your worthiness of your own love and care. When you heal on a deeper level, you will often find that the visible manifestations of your past experiences, such as those unhealthy behaviors, will start to reduce and you will even develop other positive aspects in your life as a whole.

In conclusion, picking up unhealthy behaviors post-abuse is often due to the sense of deserving them and the mind’s familiarity with toxic environments. This underscores the importance of addressing root causes and processing emotions to break free from destructive patterns.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.