Today I’ll be answering the question of how abandonment wounds lead to attracting toxic relationships. Abandonment wounds are instances where, let’s say as a child, your emotional needs were not met or your psychological needs, such as being validated, loved, cared for, or feeling worthy of care from someone you look up to (like your caregiver or guardians). When these needs are not met, it can result in a fear of losing the people you care about or fear of being abandoned.

To compensate for this fear, you may become overly responsible, engaging in actions that go against your boundaries. This is driven by the deep-seated fear of losing those you care about, as the unhealed abandonment issues would resurface if someone were to leave you. Consequently, you might stay in a hurtful relationship because it prevents these unhealed issues from emerging.

Growing up in a household where you’ve experienced consistent neglect or abandonment can lead to negative beliefs about yourself. These beliefs may include thinking you are unworthy of care or healthy love, and no one can care for you. Such beliefs can attract people who reinforce these negative thoughts through their actions.

Negative beliefs influence our thoughts, actions, and emotions in the present moment. Even if you logically understand that mistreatment is not how you should live, the familiarity of the pattern may make it feel like a safe place. Thus, toxic relationships, which involve abandonment, lack of care, and mistreatment, may feel like a safe haven because they are familiar.

The mind, on a deeper level, may interpret mistreatment as care or believe that you deserve it due to your past experiences. Breaking free from these abandonment issues requires more than just changing circumstances, like seeking another relationship. It involves working on subconscious beliefs and breaking free from the established pattern.

Good therapy helps you navigate and understand these patterns, guiding you to make peace with your past and building a foundation where you recognize your worthiness of love and a better life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.