Toxic Relationships: Why You Feel Confused and Lost After Abuse

Toxic Relationships: Why You Feel Confused and Lost After Abuse toxic relationships: why you feel confused and lost after abuse
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be addressing the question of why you might feel so confused after leaving a past relationship. When I say “confused,” I mean feeling unsure of yourself, not knowing what to do, and even struggling with basic things like remembering your next meal. It’s a constant state of self-doubt and feeling like you’re all over the place. You get confused with even doing the basic logical things of life, things you used to do so well.

Why does this confusion happen? It’s primarily due to the manipulation you experienced, especially through gaslighting. Gaslighting involves the abuser distorting your sense of reality, bombarding you with lies about yourself, and making you question your beliefs, confidence, and appearance. This manipulation leaves you uncertain about your identity, looking at life through the abuser’s eyes instead of your own eyes, and unsure of which way to go.

Imagine someone scratching or scrambling things inside your psyche, making everything chaotic. That’s why you feel confused — your sense of self was manipulated to the point where you doubt your ability to make decisions, even the good ones you made in the relationship.

After leaving, you might want to reconnect with friends, enjoy hobbies, or go to church, but a part of you hesitates due to the lingering effects of manipulation. The abuser made you doubt everything about yourself to control and exploit you further, making you ignore your own voice and follow theirs.

This post-relationship confusion will also manifest as conflicting beliefs and a lack of direction. You may know what you need to do but feel undeserving or incapable. This state of confusion arises from the distortion of your inner belief system during the past relationship, you can liken it to looking for True North using a broken compass. You might engage in self-destructive behaviors or neglect positive actions due to conflicting internal messages.

The key to overcoming this confusion is repairing your inner compass. Work on rebuilding your belief system, trusting yourself, and embracing your authenticity. By doing so, you can regain clarity, understanding, and a sense of direction. It’s about realizing that you have a voice, an identity, and the ability to make choices aligned with your true self.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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