One thing that may definitely happen when you leave an abusive relationship is that your narcissistic ex may start stalking you on various channels, from social media to physically stalking you. This mostly happens when you were the one who initiated the end of the relationship. As I’ve said in the past, the relationship is never really over for them, and they might come knocking when you really think you’ve moved on. It’s only over when you take the logical and mental measures to keep them out of your life.

Physical Steps to Protect Yourself

When you’re being stalked by your manipulative ex, there are measures you can take to keep yourself safe, such as blocking them, changing your locks, or even reporting them. However, the options available to you may depend on your location and local laws. Sometimes, it may even be necessary to relocate to a different area for your safety. However, even with these precautions, it may not be enough, especially if the relationship has traumatized you and left you on high alert.

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Paranoid and Precautions

When you’re paranoid and still carrying emotional scars from the past, you won’t be able to logically assess your present situations. You’ll constantly be looking over your shoulder and feeling as if your ex is there to get you. You’ll view everything with suspicion because all aspects of your life act as triggers. You’ll perceive anything that reminds you of your ex as evidence of them stalking you, even when they’re not actually doing so. You may even see friend requests, even from strangers, and mistakenly think they’re from your ex.

It’s not that your ex won’t stalk you; they may or may not stalk you. However, the key is to keep yourself safe. When you haven’t worked on the pain they inflicted, you’ll tend to view everything with suspicion, even people who genuinely want to help and free you from this fear. Additionally, when you’re still paranoid, others may not believe you and might take you for granted. They may even at times try to disprove your suspicions of being stalked. Feeling paranoid is a trauma response that affects your perception of the environment you’re in.

It’s not easy to discern whether you’re safe or not when you deeply believe that everyone is out to get you.

The Tale of The Thief and The Child

This reminds me of a story we once heard in primary school. It’s about a child who always told their parents that there was a thief in their room. The parents would check, only to find out there was no thief, and the child was just imagining things. This pattern continued for several days, and the parents eventually stopped listening to the child’s pleas, concluding that everything the child was saying was not true. However, you can probably guess what happened next: there was a time when the child’s pleas were true, and there was an actual thief inside the house, but the parents couldn’t listen, and the situation turned tragic.

The same thing happens when you’re paranoid and believe that your ex is stalking you. Authorities and your family may not listen to you, and they could end up isolating you because they’re tired of your ‘exaggerations.’ The will also end up spreading the message to your friends and neighbors that you’re always making up things. This can put you in danger as your support network has now gone.

Heal to Protect Yourself

That’s why the best way to protect yourself from your ex goes beyond taking logical steps. It also involves working on processing your trauma so that you can analyze and discern situations more clearly. You will even notice when you’re being stalked and know the best way forward because you’ll be calm and composed. You can also explain to your family and friends, and they will automatically or higher-than-likely believe you. Your fear will be a legitimate response to danger, not stemming from your unhealed traumas. Fear is a useful alert for real danger, but when you haven’t worked on your past, your sense of fear will be distorted.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it’s okay to take the logical and necessary steps to keep yourself safe from your ex who is stalking you or whom you suspect is stalking you. However, if you haven’t worked on healing your emotional pain, you may still live in fear. You could install five locks, security cameras, or even move to a different country, but as long as you haven’t addressed your traumas, you’ll continue to struggle with being present. You might even mistakenly believe that other people have been sent by your ex due to hypersensitivity stemming from your unhealed wounds. It’s essential to combine the practical safety measures with healing your emotional wounds. Taking physical steps to protect yourself is simpler when you’re calm and composed, as opposed to acting out of irrational fear.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.