When you’ve been in a toxic relationship for a very long time, such as 40+ years, or when you’ve been stuck in a negative pattern for an extended period, you may genuinely believe and think that your problems are too big to resolve. Your mind will feed you a plethora of lies, convincing you that you’re too messed up, that you can’t escape your toxic partner due to shared responsibilities or living in the same neighborhood, or because they’re friends with your family. You cannot simply go no contact because you have kids together, or even your culture or religion forbids divorce and more lies.

You feel as though you’re destined to remain stuck with your problems forever, with no way out. You may see yourself as trapped in an unbreakable cage and, as a result, resist any attempts to free yourself from it. But is that really the truth? Are your problems truly too big to resolve?

Mind Makes Your Problems Seem Too Big

Your mind will magnify all your problems and make them really seem unsurmountable. It does so because it wants to keep you there. Your mind wants to keep you safe and there’s comfort in familiarity. You know what to expect when you wake up every morning sweating and feeling anxious, it is at least predictable. You know what to expect in your own little cage.

Your Mind Is Like A Bird in A Cage

Imagine your mind as a bird confined within the safety of a familiar cage. Over time, this cage has become its entire world, the one place it knows inside out. The bird has learned the daily routines, the feeding times, and even the shadows that dance across the cage bars. It’s an environment it has grown accustomed to, one where everything is predictable.

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Now, imagine that one day, the cage door is swung open, offering the bird a chance to escape. This might seem like an opportunity for the bird to finally soar the skies, experience the vast world beyond, and marvel in the true essence of freedom. However, to the bird, stepping out of the cage means stepping into the unknown, into something unfamiliar and potentially scary. In its limited perspective, the cage is the “safe” place it knows.

So, when presented with the chance to escape the cage and take to the skies, the bird hesitates. It remains perched within the cage because the cage has become its comfort zone. It might even become anxious at the thought of freedom, because the unknown can be scary, and the familiar cage provides a false sense of security.

In a similar manner, our minds can often resemble this bird in the cage. We cling to our problems, even when they’re causing us distress, because they have become our familiar environment. We know what to expect, even if it means staying in situations that are far from ideal. The prospect of change and tackling our problems head-on can be intimidating, even when it means breaking free from self-destructive patterns. It’s a lot like the bird refusing to leave the cage, as it can be easier to stay put than to venture into the unknown, even when that unknown promises freedom and growth.

Your Mind is a Master Storyteller

Your mind is like a master storyteller, weaving elaborate tales to protect you from the uncertainty of the unfamiliar. One of its most potent tools is the construction of convincing excuses and justifications. These stories seem so factual because they’re based on your life experiences, and they can be incredibly convincing.

For instance, it may make you to believe that your current situation is too overwhelming or that your past traumatic experiences have left you feeling helpless and powerless, suggesting that it’s safer to cling to the familiar, even if it’s harmful. This reinforces the idea that you lack the capacity to change your present circumstances or to break free from the cage.

Exposing the Lies Your Mind Tells

The most effective way to challenge your current perspective is to expose the untruths in the lies your mind is feeding you. For instance, if your mind has convinced you that you’re powerless and helpless, you can disprove this by listing aspects of your life that demonstrate your capabilities. Consider how you’ve endured abuse and are still standing, alive, and working. Think about how you cook your own meals, pay your bills, and continue to walk, breathe, and manage various daily tasks etc. These examples call out the lies your mind tells. It’s like confronting a friend who spreads false stories about you, but on a deeper level.

Moreover, the fact that other birds of the same species are soaring in the skies demonstrates that you too can break free from your cage. We’re all birds of a feather, after all. This means that your potential for change and growth is just as real as it is for others in similar situations or who’ve been through similar situations.

Conclusion

In conclusion, strive to challenge the painful familiar to break free from the cage and see your strengths and resilience. Your problems are not insurmountable; your mind may lead you to believe so to shield you from the unfamiliar, yet potentially joyful, skies filled with endless possibilities. Don’t allow it to fill you with more justifications; a life of freedom and bliss awaits outside that cage.

Our minds often perpetuate familiar beliefs and identities, even if rooted in suffering. For instance, if we’ve grown accustomed to pain, our minds may reinforce this identity.

Yet, it’s crucial to recognize that this same mind, seemingly trapping us, also possesses the power to free us from limiting beliefs. Within the same mind, we can cultivate the awareness and motivation needed to challenge and ultimately break free from self-imposed limitations.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.