Narcissistic abuse will leave deep emotional and psychological scars in your life. It will shake the foundation of who you are as well as change your perspective on how you view people. You may become deeply cynical and completely lose your trust in humanity.

It will drive you to isolate from others as you try to piece things together and get a grip of what you’ve been put through by someone who once claimed that they ‘loved’ you. Self-isolation is a common experience for anyone who has experienced narcissistic abuse. You feel paralyzed to build connections with those close to you and with other human beings.

It’s one of those coping strategies where you prefer to shut down and just spend some time alone. You may push away your support network or even those people who genuinely want to help because of your deep mistrust and feelings of shock from what you’ve been through. Narcissistic abuse is a hidden form of abuse and that in itself means that a few people may believe what you’ve been through.

You may also choose to self-isolate so that you can avoid those people who ask those complex questions and make hurtful remarks like, “What happened?” or “You looked happy together.” They may not believe that you’re a victim of abuse and some may be even siding with your ex-partner.

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Also, the relationship weakened your sense of self and that in itself will make you shy away from your friends. You don’t want to be seen as a failure. You feel some sense of guilt and shame and you’d prefer to be alone so that your friends and family will not judge and criticize you for your ‘failed’ marriage/relationship.

So, self-isolation is not that bad because it will give you a break from all those triggering situations and it will even provide you with an element of control over your environment and your experiences.

Signs you may be self-isolating

screenshot from psychcentral

Is Self-Isolation Healthy?

Yes, self-isolation will provide a sense of safety and protection. When done with awareness, it can provide a safe and quiet space for you to process your emotions and regain a sense of emotional balance. It can also be a great space for deep self-reflection of where you want to be in life and what you need to do to get there.

So, self-isolation is okay if you’re using it as an opportunity to work on the inner wounds that were exposed in your past relationship as well as to deal with any new emotional scars the narcissist inflicted in your life.

However, when taken too far, self-isolation can keep you stuck with the pain for much longer. When you self-isolate as an avoidance strategy, you’re ‘choosing’ the path of letting past painful experience and trauma to limit your scope in life.

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You may not be feeling much pain or not getting triggered but at the same, same time you will be missing out on some of the joys of life like human interactions, pursuing your interests or just living outside your bubble. It will even disconnect you further from reality and your authentic self.

The other thing is self-isolation can feed you with this illusion that you’re ‘okay’, because you’re just locked up in your own space away from all your triggers. This may prevent you from seeking any kind of help because you’re in a ‘comfortable’ space.

When you avoid pain, you will no be looking for measures to permanently deal with the pain but when you have to face those people who trigger you frequently, you will be so motivated to get out of that pain.

In conclusion, self-isolating after narcissistic abuse is very okay but you’ve got to set good intentions and make better use of it. Choose the path of using your time alone to work on yourself and deal with those deep stuff. Once you’ve dealt with them, you will easily reintegrate back into social situations and enjoy life.

Use it to learn and deal with your vulnerabilities, to know your boundaries and to heal on a deeper level. Do not let the narcissist limit your life even long after you’ve left that toxic relationship.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.