Compromise is an important aspect in relationship but it’s also where you find yourself veering into the toxic relationship territory in the name of ‘love’ or wanting to preserve the relationship. A toxic relationship begins when you literally compromise yourself (or you) so that you can make someone else who doesn’t even want to compromise happy.

A healthy relationship is characterized by a healthy kind of compromise but when you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, your people-pleasing self will hide behind the compromise and keep you in a relationship which is quite damaging to your health. That’s why the most important thing you have to look at before committing to a relationship is those things you’re not supposed to compromise on.

To build a healthy partnership, some level of compromise is necessary but at times when we don’t know what we’re supposed to compromise on we may overstep and hurt ourselves or lose ourselves in the name of compromise. So, what are some of the things you’re not supposed to compromise in a relationship?

1. Your Inner Peace

The first thing you should never compromise in a relationship is your inner peace. The relationship should be the safest place for you because that’s where you spend most times in. Safety here mean spiritual, mental and physical safety or health. You should never sacrifice your happiness or inner calmness for the sake of keeping that relationship.

If the relationship is makings thing harder for you each day and night then the best place for you is outside that relationship. If the number of stressful days far outnumber the peaceful ones then it already means that you’re compromising your own happiness and inner peace. You should always feel safe and peaceful in a relationship and not always feeling on guard all the time because you’re afraid of what they’re going to do. When you compromise your inner peace, it means the relationships is always your source of sadness, anxiety, sorrow and general dissatisfaction with life.

2. Your Core Values

Core values are those principles which you really hold in high regard e.g. integrity and accountability. They are those things which you really feel are the driving forces of your life. They shape what you deem as undesirable and desirable behaviors.

The moment you compromise on your core values in a relationship, it implies that you’re losing the meaning of who you are and what you stand for. You can only compromise your core values if you are the one who wants to do it but not so that you can fit into someone else’s core values.

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Do not compromise just for the sake of the relationship. Your core values and beliefs are more of your individuality or what defines you as a person, and if your partner want you to change those so that you can be a different kind of person then it’s more of them molding you into what you don’t want to be but more to what they want you to be.

3. Your Family and Friends

Your partner may not be in sync with your family and friends but that doesn’t mean you cut them off for your partner’s sake. You had those relationships way before you met your partner. So, if you want to cut them off, let it be reasonable and not because your partner wants you to. Some of your friends and family may be toxic to your relationship but your partner should not be the one who solely makes that decision for you. You can of course have a sober discussion on this because at times it’s coming from the point of care.

4. Your Dreams and Goals

You had dreams before the relationships, like pursuing your career or some great interests in life. You partner should be your best cheerleader in your pursuit of those dreams.

You should not stop pursuing your personal goals or your life purpose because you’re now in a relationship. Of course, you can discuss what’s reasonable and what’s not but do not compromise on those things that give your life spark. You may of course outgrow some of your dreams but let it come from your own volition and not because your partner directly/indirectly stops you from doing them.

5. Your Opinions and Suggestions

You will not of course agree on everything in a relationship but that doesn’t mean you stop voicing your opinions. You should feel that your voice is being heard even when you have contrary opinions. You should not compromise on your ability to just air an opinion on something because you’re afraid of upsetting your partner or ruining the relationship.

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You should not just let them dictate everything so as to maintain the relationship. You have different likes and dislikes in life, it shouldn’t mean that your partner’s opinion is more prioritized than your own. You should always have a middle ground and not feel left out in key decisions. You should have inputs in major decisions without feeling overpowered or shut down.

6. Your Self-esteem

If your partner makes your doubt your worth so much and you really feel that you’re feeling more and more unworthy in that relationship, then that’s not the right place for you. Self-esteem is this sense of being worthy of happiness and having the ability to stand up for yourself. You should never compromise on your sense of being an autonomous being and treating yourself with respect. When a relationship is making you doubt yourself and your own value because your partner constant ridicules you or invalidates you, then you don’t have to think twice. A relationship is supposed to build your self-confidence and not make you feel very unworthy.

Compromise is important for a relationship to grow but when you’re not aware you might think that your sense of self-sacrifice in that relationship is because you love your partner but all along it’s just hiding your deep insecurities. The best way to look at compromise in a relationship is to understand your compromises before committing to a relationship. It can be hard breaking of that prison if you’re hooked to a manipulative partner. An abusive relationship mostly begins when you compromise yourself. This mostly happens unconsciously because of your unhealed wounds and low self-esteem. If you find that you’re in a relationship where you’re really struggling and compromising so much, start thinking of leaving the relationship as an option. There is a healthy level of compromise but it becomes unhealthy if your health is starting to feel the effect of your sacrifices in that relationship.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.