Some of the most commonly asked questions after someone has been in a Narcissistic relationship are:

– How to Take Revenge on a Narcissist

– How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

It’s quite understandable, actually because you’re trying to get back at someone who’s lied to you, manipulated you, and psychologically tortured you. There is just this feeling of wanting to beat them or take matters into your own hands and make them suffer. The other question you might cling onto is the idea of forgiving the narcissist or not.

This article will not be questioning your sense of morality; it will just be exploring the best approach when it comes to all these ideas of hurting the narcissist or forgiving the narcissist. There is no right or wrong; it’s just exploring it. I’m going to explain to you why you need to wait before taking your revenge or even forgiving them (wait here means you shouldn’t even bother about if it’s wrong or right — just push them aside and let’s explore).

https://biiedwin.gumroad.com/l/NavigatingtheStormofNarcissisticAbuse

When you’ve been involved with a narcissist, you’re traumatized, and you’ve also been gaslit, which means that your reality is distorted, or your vision is blurred. So, all your actions and behaviors at that point are just stemming from the perspective of your tainted emotions. It’s more of reacting to what they did to you, and you’re not thinking straight.

The voice inside which is driving all your actions, thoughts, and behaviors is courtesy of the seeds planted by the narcissist or courtesy of your past painful experiences. In short, you’re not yourself, your authentic self. Your wounds and emotional scars are running the show behind the scenes. You’re still blinded by the past, so anything you do is not coming from who you are at the core of your being but through the veil of your past hurts.

When you’re chasing revenge or answers to those difficult questions of forgiveness and revenge, the authentic you is still not the one running the show. You may have read an article advising you to take revenge by ignoring them, exposing them, or just doing something.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve read because it’s still being interpreted by your false identity (you with all your past hurts and scars). You shouldn’t even be looking at what someone tells you is the best form of revenge or someone telling you that you need to forgive to heal or that you shouldn’t forgive. When your reality is distorted, or you’re hurt, do not dwell on yes or no kind of questions; just push them aside first then come to them later.

How does this help with answering the question of revenge or forgiving the narcissist?

The answer is simple; instead of getting stuck in that rabbit hole of to revenge/forgive or not to revenge/forgive, drop all of them (without a yes or a no) and seek healing. You can pause and just tell yourself that you will know the best way to seek revenge or forgive them once you’re in touch with your authentic self.

The narcissist is not going anywhere, find that light deep inside and then once you’ve reached that light, now decide if you want to take revenge or if you want to forgive them. When you’ve healed, you’ll be yourself and not following what the crowd says. You’ll not be reacting to the situation or to the past hurts; you’ll be approaching your idea of revenge from the point of your own freshness and presence.

So, after leaving that narcissist relationship, do not stick so much to those big puzzling questions that have to do with the narcissist but instead focus on yourself and heal your wounds. Once you heal, you will now know what to do with them without being influenced by what other people are doing.

The thing about getting stuck with looking for answers on those moral perspectives (revenge and forgiveness) is you may find yourself in endless debates without knowing that you’re not responding to this as an authentic you, you’re responding to them from the perspective of a traumatized, betrayed, and hurt you. Your subconscious beliefs about yourself are running the show behind the scenes, but once you drop those beliefs you will know the answer which your authentic self wants.

https://biiedwin.gumroad.com/l/NavigatingtheStormofNarcissisticAbuse

In conclusion, if you’ve left a narcissistic relationship, do not bother so much with those moral concepts that have to do with dealing with the narcissist but instead focus on healing your wounds so that you can see clearly. Don’t get stuck with pointless arguments online on what you’re supposed to do or what you’re not supposed to do, just step out and channel your energy to healing. Then once you’ve healed, you’ll know the best way to make the narcissist miserable or to get your revenge on the narcissist.

One last thing to note is your unhealed world view or your present ego will always choose the path that supports it or that is least emotionally challenging. You may think you’re doing yourself a service by arguing with strangers on whether to forgive your abusive ex or not, you are just feeding it with what it wants, keeping you stuck from getting in touch with your authentic loving self. So, get to work, heal and then you can share with me your authentic perspective on forgiveness and revenge.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.