When entangled with a narcissist, you find yourself grappling with perplexing situations, seeking answers to the elusive “whys” and “how’s” that seem to have no clear resolution. The sense of confusion and unanswered questions leaves you thirsting for understanding, desperate to make sense of the nonsensical.

Just when you think you’ve had enough, life throws you an utterly unexpected curveball. Picture this: the person you considered your closest confidant, your best friend, suddenly takes the side of the very individual responsible for causing you emotional turmoil. It’s a gut-wrenching twist, leaving you feeling bewildered and emotionally disoriented. Welcome to the realm of flying monkeys, the enablers who dutifully carry out the narcissist’s bidding. So, why would you best friend or those close to you do what a narcissist wants?

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1. Manipulation and Deception

Narcissists are master manipulators who have an uncanny ability to control and influence those around them. They may use charm, flattery, or even guilt-tripping to gain the support of flying monkeys. The flying monkeys are manipulated to feel responsible for the narcissist, flattered to create a sense of loyalty and indebtedness, or charmed to convince them that their actions are of ‘good faith.’

2. Enabling Behavior

Some flying monkeys may exhibit codependent tendencies or a strong desire for approval from the narcissist. These individuals may have a deep-seated need for validation and fear rejection or abandonment. As a result, they willingly enable the narcissist’s behavior by complying with their demands and supporting their manipulative actions. The flying monkeys may believe that by aligning themselves with the narcissist, they will gain a sense of belonging and acceptance within the narcissist’s circle. Additionally, they may fear potential conflict or retaliation from the narcissist if they resist or challenge their behavior.

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3. Fear of Rejection or Retaliation

Narcissists often exhibit traits of intimidation and vindictiveness, especially when someone challenges their actions or questions their authority. Flying monkeys, who have become enmeshed with the narcissist, may fear the consequences of refusing to comply with the narcissist’s demands. The narcissist’s aggressive and manipulative nature can instill fear in those around them, leading the flying monkeys to prioritize self-preservation over standing up against the narcissist’s requests.

An example of this could be a situation where a narcissistic boss asks their subordinates to engage in unethical practices. The flying monkeys, who rely on their jobs or fear negative repercussions, might go along with the unethical behavior to avoid the narcissist’s anger or losing their job, even though they know it’s wrong.

4. Belief in the Narcissist’s Superiority

Flying monkeys may develop a genuine belief in the narcissist’s superiority or see them as an authority figure. This perception can stem from the narcissist’s charismatic personality, self-assured demeanor, or their ability to manipulate others into seeing them in a positive light. Flying monkeys may admire the narcissist’s apparent confidence, accomplishments, or talents, which further reinforces the belief that the narcissist knows what is best. As a result, the flying monkeys may feel obligated to follow the narcissist’s directives, thinking that doing so will lead to their own success or garner favor from the narcissist.

For example, in a cult setting, followers may believe that a narcissistic leader possesses special knowledge or divine insights, viewing them as an infallible and all-knowing figure who holds the key to enlightenment or salvation. As a result, they unquestioningly follow the leader’s teachings and directives, dismissing any doubts or criticisms, even if it means sacrificing their own well-being or cutting ties with loved ones.

5. Misguided Loyalty

Flying monkeys who have a history with the narcissist, such as family members or close friends, can be especially susceptible to feeling a misguided sense of loyalty towards them. This loyalty is often rooted in long-standing relationships and emotional attachments that predate the narcissist’s harmful behavior. The flying monkeys may have fond memories of the narcissist from before their toxic traits became evident, making it difficult for them to accept the reality of the current situation.

They may hold onto the hope that the narcissist will revert to their former self or that their loyalty will somehow change the narcissist’s behavior. This emotional attachment can cloud their judgment, leading them to overlook or rationalize the harmful actions of the narcissist and continue to support them, even at the expense of their own well-being or the well-being of others.

6. Lack of Awareness

The last reason is the flying monkeys may be unaware or may be in denial regarding the extent of the narcissist’s manipulation and the negative impact of their actions. They may believe that they are merely supporting someone they admire or respecting an authority figure without recognizing the harm they are perpetuating. This lack of awareness can keep them entangled in the toxic relationship, inadvertently enabling the narcissist’s harmful behavior.

Conclusion

In conclusion, understanding the role of flying monkeys in a narcissist’s dynamic sheds light on the complex web of manipulation and control that can exist in toxic relationships. You may unknowingly fall prey to the narcissist’s tactics, driven by admiration, fear, or a misguided sense of loyalty. It is crucial to recognize that you have a responsibility to set healthy boundaries with those around you, even when faced with charismatic or manipulative personalities.

Enablers and manipulators can exist within us all, and it is essential to introspect and ensure that you do not inadvertently perpetuate harmful behaviors in your relationships. Taking care of yourself means being aware of your actions and motivations, standing up against manipulation, and prioritizing your emotional well-being. By fostering self-awareness and establishing firm boundaries, you can protect yourself from falling into the role of flying monkeys and create healthier, more respectful relationships. Remember, you have the power to break free from toxic patterns and embrace a path of self-empowerment and emotional resilience.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.