If you’ve struggled with the same destructive or unhealthy patterns, negative self-talk or unhealthy relationships for many years, it can start to feel like you’re simply hardwired this way. Those persistent cycles of anger, neediness or self-sabotage may become so deeply ingrained to the point where they solidify into an unshakeable part of your identity.

You may convince yourself that, “This is just who I am,” or “I was born this way”. It’s jut a feeling of hopelessness where you believe you’re deeply flawed and this can make you doubt if you will even really change. How could decades of deeply entrenched beliefs and patterns ever really change?

Though it’s natural to feel sceptical due to your past experiences and struggles, accepting these limits as fixed is distorted. These toxic patterns and negative stories about yourself are based on beliefs shaped by your life experiences, not by your biology. These beliefs might feel familiar, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be changed. You adopted these beliefs, whether consciously or unconsciously, and they served you in some way and that by itself means you have the power to let go of them or challenge them.

Finding the Root of Those Beliefs

To free yourself from these deeply ingrained beliefs, it’s important to understand how they came about in the first place. Every belief, positive or negative, starts with what we learn from childhood, from our family dynamics or just from our unique life experiences.

Perhaps you might have grown up in an unstable environment without safety, emotional connection, or care from your caregivers and as a result your sense of self-worth may have been ruined. This might have led you to subconsciously develop beliefs like, “I’m unlovable or unworthy.” So, you may have found yourself in relationships that reinforced this core belief throughout your life.

Or maybe you faced excessive criticism and control from your parents. This could have lead to some codependent tendencies and a harsh inner critic which keeps telling you, “I’m not enough on my own.” So, your life choices and unhealthy relationship dynamics may have aligned with this distorted belief that you need others to fill your deep emptiness

Regardless of your past experiences, you were not born with this inherent flaws or permanent limits. These beliefs are changeable patterns that you absorbed from your environment, not something dictated by your biology. That’s a great place to start, so do not your mind cling to that belief that you inherited your beliefs from your ancestors. That’s still a belief and the key to transformation in the one who is holding them, which is you.

Questioning What You’ve Adopted

The process of changing those deeply ingrained patterns begins with recognizing and questioning them. You can start by identifying which limiting beliefs have been driving your most destructive habits or your unhealthy relationships patterns in life. Bring these beliefs into the open, making them clear and specific rather than vague assumptions.

Is it “I don’t deserve to be cared for” that fuels your people-pleasing tendencies? Or “I’m inadequate” that sparks that harsh self-criticism and toxic shame? Maybe “I’m not meant for success” justifies your self-sabotage patterns in your work and career and playing small.

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Once you’ve identified these limiting beliefs, you can then begin to question their legitimacy and origins. Approach this with curiosity, not judgment. Ask yourself: Where did this negative belief first take root? Was it instilled through childhood experiences, or did it arise from a specific event or decision you made, or did I pick it up from my mother/father? Why do I still hold onto this belief?

Unpacking the root of those limiting beliefs helps you to see them not as inherent traits, but as unconscious coping mechanisms and view perspectives that became habits or part of your identity over time.

Releasing those Limiting Beliefs

With this clarity, you slowly by slowly gain the ability to purposely release those limiting and unhealthy patterns. Every negative belief is simply an inherited story that can be re-authored from a more objective standpoint. While these inherited beliefs may have gained a foothold in your life for decades, they are merely dense thought patterns, not irreversible aspects of your being. With courage and self-work, any destructive belief you’ve been carrying can be undone.

Questioning your negative beliefs in a compassionate manner allows light to stream through the cracks, revealing the contradictions that show those beliefs are not true. It might be challenging to question them alone, as your beliefs will resist change, but this resistance isn’t permanent. Keep pushing forward or seek help to uncover the root causes of those beliefs. By doing so, you can soar like a free bird, untied from the past. Your wings can stretch as far as you’re willing and committed to doing the work.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.